INDEPENDENT NEWS

Bluff Oyster Season

Published: Thu 31 Mar 2005 08:44 AM
Bluff Oyster Season
With the eagerly anticipated commencement of the Bluff Oyster season Happy Clapping Homos would like to remind those members of City Impact Church and Destiny Church that while the oysters may be considered a delicacy, they are however forbidden. Leviticus 11:10-12 states “And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you” .
Happy Clapping Homos is aware that Bluff Oysters generally come in little plastic tubs, irrespective of this we are fairly certain that Oysters are an abomination be they in or out of their shells. Happy Clapping Homos would like to remind you that shellfish are sinful no matter what condiments you use, the dinner service you serve them on, or the wine you serve them with.
We would also like to remind members of these congregations that the ban applies to all shellfish, crustaceans and urchins including pipi, tua tua, kina, paua, horse muscles, regular muscles, scallops (though scalloped potatoes are probably fine)cockles, limpets, crayfish (fresh and salt water), crab, prawn, shrimp, jellyfish and all other aquatic animals which do not have fins or scales. Also seafood pizza, spaghetti marinara, clam chowder, gumbo and certain things you will find in a Japanese restaurant are also forbidden. It is worth noting that scuba divers do have fins, and can be considered as good eating, however this is not recommended.
Happy Clapping Homos are pleased to aid City Impact and Destiny members and other extreme fundamentalists in the salvation of their eternal souls.
HappyClappingHomos.com is a Wellington based gay rights web site. We keep an eye on the ramblings of Destiny and City Impact Churches’, Paul “City-Impact Pastor” Adams and the rest of UFNZ. We watch and question The Maxim Institute, Garnet Milne, the Society for Prevention of Film Festivals and the rest of the weird and whacky nuts who sprung up over the Civil Unions debate
We can be found at http://www.happyclappinghomos.com
Yours truly,
Scott Stevens
Chief Happy Clapping Homo and Lord Protector (if Brian can make up titles, so can we)
Start your day the happy clapping way

Next in New Zealand politics

Wellington Mayor Responds To Housing Minister’s District Plan Decision
By: Wellington Office of the Mayor
Modernising Census – Stats NZ
By: Stats NZ
Therapeutic Products Act To Be Repealed
By: New Zealand Government
Interim Financial Statements Of The Government Of New Zealand For The Nine Months Ended 31 March 2024
By: The Treasury
New Zealand Sign Language Week An Opportunity For Anyone To Sign
By: New Zealand Government
Investment In Prisons Delivers On ACT Commitment
By: ACT New Zealand
View as: DESKTOP | MOBILE © Scoop Media