INDEPENDENT NEWS

SATIRE: Drug Dealer's Union Thank Voters

Published: Fri 30 Oct 2020 02:58 PM
The following is a satirical writing submitted by a reader.
The Drug Dealer's Union of New Zealand thanks voters for their decision on the proposed Cannabis Legalisation and Control Bill. An official statement from the chairman of the union follows.
"Drug dealing, particularly that of cannabis, one of New Zealand's most popular and easily accessible drugs, is a vital source of income for the underprivileged and working class of New Zealand. This untaxed and unregulated income easily allows dealers to pay their bills, make social contacts and provide for their families.
Though victory is not certain with the special votes yet to arrive, the situation looks optimistic with the strong 'No' vote and the Dealer's Union hopes that we will be able to continue our lifestyles for many years to come without threat of official intervention in the market.
We thank the voters of New Zealand for their sympathy and kindness in the votes of the referendum."
[This is a satirical press release. The drug dealing community of New Zealand does not have a union and we cannot speak on their behalf.]
The Scoop Team
Scoop Independent News
Scoop is NZ's largest independent news source; respected widely in media, political, business and academic circles for being the place on the internet for publishing "what was really said", and for the quality of its analysis of issues.

Next in New Zealand politics

Concerns Conveyed To China Over Cyber Activity
By: New Zealand Government
Parliamentary Network Breached By The PRC
By: New Zealand Government
GDP Decline Reinforces Government’s Fiscal Plan
By: New Zealand Government
Tax Cuts Now Even More Irresponsible
By: New Zealand Labour Party
New Zealand Provides Further Humanitarian Support To Gaza And The West Bank
By: New Zealand Government
High Court Judge Appointed
By: New Zealand Government
View as: DESKTOP | MOBILE © Scoop Media