Poem tae a rat

(Mr Key yesterday revealed he'd personally blocked recreational drug testing done on rabbits, but was open to using rodents.

"If it was a rodent, a rat, then I think most people would probably accept that as a step that you could take," he said on Firstline this morning.)

Poem tae a rat
( apologies to Robert Burns)

Wee sleekit cowrin, timrous beastie
O, what a panics in thy breastie
Thou maun needs awa right hasty
awa frae Johnnie Key!
He'll nae be laith to rin an' chase thee
Wi murd'ring prattle!
Comin' unapologetic
comin' aye unsympathetic
wi his smouldrin synthetic
tae test his shite on thee!

Had thou been a wee scrap bigger
wi langer ears and fuller figure
he'd nae fash thysel!
Had thee a but a furry scut
winkin' cutely frae thy butt
Thou'd be safe an soun!
the ignorant hae lang had habit
tae hate rat an luv the rabbit

But Ratty, thou art no thy lane
in bearin' politicians pain
the present only toucheth thee
Och rat, I backward cast my e'e
On Tory prospects drear
An' Labour, tho I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

Ends

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