Solid Energy Gets Coal For Christmas

Published: Mon 24 Nov 2008 03:24 PM
Solid Energy Gets Coal For Christmas
Long-time environmental activists Mr and Mrs Santa Claus, were very roughly removed from Solid Energy's Annual Meeting in Auckland today for attempting to bring attention to Solid Energy's climate changing practices. The meeting was a publicity stunt. Solid Energy even said at the meeting that it is not likely to continue to do this in future.
Solid Energy is intent on staying in the fantasy world that the coal industry has created, where the myth of "Clean Coal" is a sensible solution to climate change. So the Save Happy Valley Coalition (SHVC) thought that perhaps what was needed was another fantasy character to help bring Solid Energy back to reality. However, not even Santa Claus himself could persuade CEO Don Elder of the obvious fact that coal is dirty.
Mr and Mrs Claus wanted to demonstrate their frustration at Solid Energy's disregard for the future of the planet, their continued mining and export of coal, and their plans to turn the pristine wilderness of Happy Valley on the South Island's West Coast into an open cast coal mine, killing critically endangered species including kiwi in the process. Mr and Mrs Clause are being personally effected by climate change as their homeland in the North Pole melts away before their very eyes. They will soon be added to the growing list of climate change refugees.
"Don Elder has been a very naughty boy again this year," says SHVC spokesperson Santa Clause.
"He's not getting any presents from me this year, just dirty, carbon-emitting coal, which unfortunately he has far too much of already!"
In fact, Don Elder was quit eager to accept the gift of coal from Santa, snatching it greedily from Santa's hands. After attempting to deliver some of her home baking to Solid Energy CEO Don Elder, which he wasn't so keen on, Mrs Clause had this to say,
"Every year Don is told he needs to stop promoting fossil fuels that cook the climate, but he just won't listen to reason. I thought maybe a nice, home-cooked pie to the face might be the kind of reasoning he would understand."
SHVC has chosen to take a very light-hearted approach today to what is a in fact a very serious issue. The public knows the reality of climate change, and that coal is a dirty, polluting substance which we should be leaving in the ground rather than mining. Solid Energy would like to convince us that profit is more important than the future of the planet and that coal can somehow be clean. But sensible people know how ridiculous that sounds. Clean coal technologies are impractical and unproven. There is no such thing as clean coal.

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