INDEPENDENT NEWS

Correctives Launch Nuncard!!!

Published: Thu 11 Jul 2002 08:53 AM
"The Corrective Party takes no pleasure at all in shamelessly ripping off the Labour Party and launching our own Nuncard!!!" exclaimed Sister Malodora earlier today.
DISCIPLINING NEW ZEALAND
1. Spanking - it's good for you, but only if you're a consenting adult so you can appreciate it properly!!!
2. The Unconcieved - chastity belts for men to prevent the cries of the little unconcieved as they go splat on the cruel latex walls of penile colonies!!!
3. Stake the Undead - unfortunately, the Association of Repulsive Fangbearers only comes out of the coffin at night- but out of deference for the Greens, we don't recommend useing native forest stakes!!!
4. Zero Tumescence - all pointy phallic objects should be banned, including the shameless Auckland Sky Tower and the lewd asteroid Eros!!!
5. Outlaw GM Politicians - especially a certain Capon with Christian Haemorrhoids and a Mad Aucklandian Prebbo!!!
"The Correctives take these policies seriously, as we have no chance whatsoever of being able to deliver them, but at least we're honest enough to admit it!!!"
Sister Malodora The Corrective Party: Spanking the Monkey!!! (06) 3583609

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