David Parker
Spokesperson for Finance

21 August 2012

English sets new world record. What’s he on?

Bill English has set a new world record just a month after setting his previous one, raising suspicions he’s been in touch with Belarus shot-putter Nadzeya Ostapchuk, Labour’s Finance spokesperson David Parker would like to point out.

“Every month we see a new record of the number of Kiwis heading across the ditch to Australia, largely due to Bill English’s eye-catching ability to send our best and brightest packing. In just one year 53,873 Kiwis have crossed the Tasman, bringing the total since 2011 to 162,504, a record not achieved by any other Finance Minister.

“Now, I’m not accusing Mr English of anything directly, but it’s almost superhuman to send so many Kiwis to Australia. In setting a new record every month, Bill English ensures talkback is running hot on this issue. Let’s just say Nadzeya Ostapchuk would be impressed.

“Performance enhancing substances can have mind-altering effects, perhaps explaining Bill English’s telling everyone ‘there’s no point in standing at the airport crying’ about his record.”

ENDS

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