2011 in Lyndon Hoods: Satire, Pics, and News in Review

For those of you who weren't paying attention: 2011 in satire, editorial images and coverage of some of the less official kind of news.

January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December

DECEMBER 2010

2010 In Revue

January: Tax working groups suggests moving the nation away from wild-consumer-spending consumption, towards Edwardian-waif-dying-picturesquely-while-coughing-up-bloody-mucus consumption. Amid rumours Attorney-General Chris Finlayson seems ‘a bit down’, National MPs begin planning bills he can issue damning Bill of Rights reports against. That always perks him up.

More>>

JANUARY

Sealing The Mine And Throwing Away The Key

We were waiting a while for John Key to hold a press conference on the Pike River announcement, so we got bored and made up our own.

KEY: Hullo!

PRESS: Has your Government had anything to do with the decision to cease the rescue operation?

K: Yeah, nah.

P: You do understand that the families would like to bury their loved ones?

K: Of course I do. And it's been hard for us too. There's tonnes and tonnes of coal trapped down there. Gerry's been distraught.

More>>

Coal Action Network slams lignite plans

FEBRUARY

“John Key PM” Wins 2011 Walters Prize For Modern Art

In a move that has already provoked controversy, John Key has been awarded the 2011 Walters Prize for his work “Prime Minister of New Zealand”. Political performance art is usually frowned on by the establishment and some have claimed the award was based solely on public popularity.

More>>

Click for big version
Gordon Campbell: On Mubarak’s divide and rule tactics

Cover image for Werewolf 20 - Ten Myths About Welfare.
A variation on an old image.

Online advertising in NZ overtakes the $250m mark in 2010

Click for big version
Paul Buchanan: Middle Eastern Transitions - A Skeptic's View

Click for big version
Costumes On, Floats Ready – Sevens Parade Preshow Photos
See also 2011 Sevens Costumes: Part II, 2011 Sevens Costumes Photos: Part III, 2011 Wellington Sevens Costumes: Part IV

Click for big version
Spotted in Wellington: Guerilla Sculpture?

Click for big version.
John Minto: What Right Has John Key To Lecture The Poor

Click for big version.
Meat 'gassing' - what are the facts?

Gordon Campbell: On the Welfare Working Group final report

MARCH

You Have Been Mooned

Am I the only one with this frame of mind? The one that treats a statement like “there’s nothing funny about the earthquake” as a challenge to my capacity for irreverence?

More>>

Act Vs The Foreshore Bill: A Tale Of 119 Whales

After the misfiring of the ACT Party's attempt to delay the Marine and Coastal Area (Takutai Moana) Bill by extending question time, it seems fair that Scoop should share some notes on a previous effort.

During the committee stage of the bill, ACT MP Hilary Calvert proposed an intimidating list of amendments with the claimed intent to "to better reflect the intent of the Bill" (rather than, for example to delay it).

The majority of them were 119 proposed additions to clause 52, which relates to the treatment of stranded marine mammals. Each amendment sought to introduce, as subclause (1A), a specific reference to a different kind of whale, dolphin, seal, manatee or what have you.

More>>

Click for big version
Scoop Images: Two Minute Silence At Civic Square

3/3/11: Statement from the Governor-General Regarding Earthquake - Change From Rescue To Recovery Focus
From NZDF photo

National Christchurch Memorial Service Info & Programme

Click for big version.
Christchurch hosting RWC 2011 games decision

Click for big version.
Werewolf: You Have Been Mooned
I didn't draw the picture, but here it is anyway.

APRIL

Werewolf: Learning To Read The PM

Earlier in the year, when asked what he really thought about something, Prime Minister John Key said, “I’m leaving it until my book. I know the answer, but just wait until my book.” After an unprecedented two-and-a-half month investigation, Werewolf can now reveal he was talking about this…

I was walking down the road, and I saw a Prime Minister!
(hee-haw)
And he’d ‘forgotten’ about a pile of Tranzrail shares.
He was a shonky John Key.

More>>

AMI Secures Capital Support

Click for big version
Werewolf: Learning To Read The PM

Click for big version.
Unused for the above: 'clearly lucky'.

Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Bill Passes

PlayStation scam warning

MAY

Goff Disappointed As World Fails To End

Close friends say they are worried for Labour Leader Phil Goff, who is increasingly disappointed that predictions the world would end last weekend did not come true.

The destruction of the universe was widely considered Labour’s best chance of winning this year’s general election.

More>>

Gordon Campbell: On the alleged threats to John Key

Click for big version
Werewolf: Funding The National Religion

Click for big version
Werewolf : Goff Disappointed As World Fails To End

JUNE

Werewolf: The Antipodean Nights’ Entertainments

Once there was a mighty Prince who was extremely mindful of his own mortality. He decided to ensure his legacy by having a child. Yet, having married, he realised that if he died and left his wife with a baby, she might end up on the DPB. So to spare her that widely-recognised dishonour, he immediately had her executed.

Much to the distress of the court, he repeated this pattern several times. Finally a wise young woman, the Grand Vizier’s daughter, agreed to marry the prince. And she distracted him from his brooding by telling him stories.

More>>

2011 Broadcasting Allocation Decision Released

Intoxicated patients an increasing problem hospitals

Click for big version
Meme Break: Vancouver Riot Kissing Couple v Max Key

Click for big version
Ditto

Click for big version.
SkyCity seeks expanded gambling for convention centre deal

Hobbit Casting: Evangeline Lilly, Barry Humphries

Roger Douglas: Don’t Stop There Jim

Click for big version.
Werewolf: The Antipodean Nights’ Entertainments

Special bonus Max-Key-Planking pic.

JULY

Australia puts a price on carbon

Click for big version.
Tobacco Bullies Use Trade Agreements Against Public Health

Katene: New Zealand Security Intelligence Amendment Bill

Click for big version.
Bonus pic: Don Brash meets Sad Keanu

“Too little too late”- workers to Government sleepover offer

Click for big version
Image: Crane Holds Civic Square Fern Ball

AUGUST

Sestina SIStina Barcelona

Sometimes I think, if I should chance to be
crushed by a falling lump of masonry
my motives may be viewed suspiciously
due to, upon me, the discovery
of passports (between zero and twenty);
not one but two notebooks – and fully three
assorted pencils! – worse, they see
notes made in light verse (not quite poetry)
on current political policy.
Perhaps I’ll be on the TV.

More>>

Werewolf: Sestina SIStina Barcelona

Shill bidding: Unlawful, unethical and dumb

Gordon Campbell: On the Government’s latest plans to Americanise the welfare system

Click for big version.
Wellington.Scoop: Wellington hit by morning and afternoon snowfalls (First two photos are mine.)
See also Wellington Snow Photos: Lower Hutt and Video: Wellington snow - Petone to Waterloo.

MAF/MFish merger to realise savings; front line secure

World Week Ahead: Perception sets the agenda

Deficit blows out to $18bn as EQC kitty falls $1.1bn short

SEPTEMBER

The Inspector Protector

DAY ONE The minister has tasked me with investigating the state of workplace safety in New Zealand. After that she went back to the departmental budget – as I left I heard her telling someone there was a recession on and there was no money for new carpets or filing cabinets or air conditioning and there were people in Christchurch who would be grateful to have carpets at all.

First priority: background. Examined the departmental statistics.

We have, actually, been known to prosecute employers. Not sure how to feel about this, officially. One might consider it to be Doing Our Jobs, but there is also the need to balance this with letting employers, who are the lifeblood of our economy, do whatever they like. This is called Ease Of Doing Business.

I stopped in to see how the inspectorate was going. He said he was fine.

More>>

First Minister of Wales Impressed With Kiwi Business

Trade Me may look for offshore growth, Fairfax CEO says

Scoop Images: Wellington Hail in the CBD 13/9/11

Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On the Act Party’s latest policy contortions

OCTOBER

Dining With The Baron

“I took ship from Bremerhaven, as you know, with a fair wind and a bold heart, but lady luck was soon to change her face. On the third day there arose a storm of unimaginable size – the waves were as high as houses, then as high as mountains; strange howlings came from the ocean; passing whales begged to be allowed on board as on that night the sea was no place for a creature of God; and I personally was struck by lightning three times...

“I don’t know if you’ve ever been trapped under several fathoms of water, struggling to escape and deprived of oxygen, as you face your apparently inevitable expiration knowing that no matter what convulsions you go through or how loudly you shout no living soul will know or care. It’s uncomfortably like being Phil Goff."

More>>

Click for big version.
Rubgy Ball Lodged On Civic Square Fern Ball

ACT Website Policy Pages: Bacon Goes With Everything!

An unfinished ACT election policy section has been published on their website. Instead of policy descriptions the pages at http://www.act.org.nz/policies were filled with a mixture of latin words and name of kinds of meat...

More>>

Alternative court processes for child witnesses

England team member jumps from Devonport ferry, swims to wharf, warned by police

CPIT rugby research measures heartfelt response

For Werewolf 27: Why MMP Is Still The Best Option

NOVEMBER

Strange And Bizarre: Scoop Satire: A Tea Ceremony

[JOHN 1 and JOHN 2 enter a cafe, bow to each other, and sit in facing seats at a cafe table.]

WAITER: Can I help you?

JOHN 1: I would like a Symbolic Cup Of Tea.

JOHN 2: I too would like a Symbolic Cup Of Tea.

[Waiter bows. Waiter opens a cupboard and removes a Key Ring. Waiter unlocks a Safe which contains a small Gong. Waiter places Gong beside Espresso Machine and Strikes the Gong once.]

[Camera flash.]

More>>

Click for big version.
Satire: Vote Colonel Blimp For Welfare Reform

Adapted from TVNZ Images: Minor Party Leaders Debate

Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On some possible options for the Greens

Greens make a real NZ First

Click for big version.
Scoop Images: Saddleback Bird Of The Year Event

Scoop Satire: A Tea Ceremony

Gordon Campbell on the Banks/Key taping saga

Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On Epsom, and dodgy aspects of the asset sales programme

DECEMBER

Click for big version.
Low-income voters election feedback

Gordon Campbell: On charter schools

Click for big version.
Gordon Campbell: On the coalition agreements

© Scoop Media