Diamond life: Why putting a ring on it still really matters

When Beyonce sings Put A Ring On It she means all the single ladies want a diamond. The juxtaposition of those two words – "diamond" and "ring" conjures up wedding bells, expensive designer dresses, overblown receptions and (for the older, wiser and wealthier) pre-nuptial agreements.

All it took was a diamond ring flashing on Julia Gillard's finger just before Christmas and the tongues started wagging. Was Australia's leader ready to walk down the aisle with her partner, Tim Mathieson? Famously unmarried, her dalliance with the diamond - spotted on *that* finger, the one that says "engaged" - offered brief hope that the country's first female Prime Minister might make an announcement that promised "if only for a few fleeting seconds, to be Australia's answer to Prince William's royal wedding." (smh.com.au, 21 Dec, 2010)

The media had a field day because, of course, nothing says engaged like a diamond ring, does it? Ms Gillard laughed off the suggestion she was to wed – apparently the ring is just something she slips on and off her fingers and onto alternate hands as it appeals. But she should have realised that a diamond ring, in jewellery terms, is one loaded gun of symbolism.

In what is perhaps the world's most successful marketing campaign, De Beers has made the diamond ring synonymous with betrothal. Their 1948 *A Diamond Is Forever *slogan cleverly shaped the view that only a diamond would do when it came to an engagement ring. That's because diamonds are rare and precious and forever, like marriage. In fact, diamonds can chip, and according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, around 33 per cent of marriages end in divorce.

Diamonds aren't even that rare. The Diamond Cutters International website reveals that the distribution of the number of diamonds put on the market each year is highly regulated, and the only reason diamonds are perceived of as rare is because there is a deliberate man-made shortage. Not only is a diamond not the most interesting stone on the market, it's certainly not the most expensive, either. A top quality ruby can be worth over $US30,000 a carat, and has been the world's most valued gemstone for thousands of years. In a marketing spin older than the De Beers campaign, ruby was said to be the most precious of the 12 stones God created when he created all things.

Yet there is certainly no sign of the diamond's appeal as an engagement ring waning, not if the recent crop of engaged celebrities is anything to go by. Because, wave that rock in the world's face, and it's Morse code for "I got him to commit." While optimists suggest that in these harsh economic times, a hot trend for 2011 will be skipping an engagement ring and exchanging very basic wedding bands and using the money as a deposit on a house ( sheknows.com, Dec 16 2010), I am not convinced.

When today's blokes are loathe to commit to lunch, let alone a life together, once you get him to pop the question, opting for anything but the most obvious and traditional engagement ring could mean your family and friends miss the whole point. Prince William started the current trend in November 2010, when he presented long term live-in lover Kate Middleton with his mother's engagement ring.

No one who got married in the 1980s can forget the ubiquitous versions this iconic sapphire and diamond ring spawned. Still, even if she got the hand-me-down ring, at least Middleton got her prince to finally propose. This year started well for diamond engagement ring, and diamond ring posturing. If you got it, flaunt it, right? Lily Allen gave fans a glimpse of hers through her blog, where she posted a picture of her manicure - and "the diamond solitaire that sealed her love for builder and decorator Sam Cooper."(Hellomagazine.com, Jan 11).

Girls Aloud star Sarah Harding’s fiancé DJ Tom Crane gave her a "Diana special" which she waved it at the paps at Heathrow in January after flying back from the Maldives. UK firm Seventy Seven Diamonds, a member of the British Jewellers' Association, lists the latest celebrity engagements on its website, along with lingering descriptions of their diamond rings.

For instance, actress Ginnifer Goodwin "has a bespoke 3 carat princess cut diamond ring", actress Natalie Portman "flaunted both her pregnant belly and her giant round brilliant diamond engagement ring surrounded by smaller diamonds", and Playboy founder Hugh Hefner announced that he’s engaged to girlfriend and 'playmate' Crystal Harris "after proposing to the 24-year old on Christmas Eve last month with a US$90,000 cushion cut diamond engagement ring." Women know that size matters.

Singer LeeAnne Rimes has been eagerly showing off her gigantic, US$85,000 engagement ring (sheknows.com, Jan 7) and Reese Witherspoon has been seen flashing her 4 carat engagement ring - a rare Ashoka diamond stunner, set on a pave diamond-and-platinum band, featuring a center stone with 62 displayed facets and rounded corners. According to Goldberg Diamond's website, only a couple of hundred diamonds a year are big enough to create the Ashoka. (Jan 5)

Indeed, Katie Price, Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole have made headlines by wearing increasingly-large engagement rings. (The Press and Journal, 17 Jan) And just remember – a diamond is indeed forever, if you keep it after the marriage folds. Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor, who who married 9 times, famously said "I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back."

Evelyn Tsitas is the co-author of the parenting book Handle With Care. She is a PhD student at RMIT University, Melbourne. Email: evelyntsitas@gmail.com

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