Scoop has an Ethical Paywall
Licence needed for work use Learn More
Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

Lyndon Hood: 'Kiwi Party' Is An Appropriate Name

Reasons 'Kiwi Party' Is An Appropriate Name

Satire by Lyndon Hood

Larry Baldock is seeking to register the long-awaited party based on 'Judeo-Christian Values', with Gordon Copeland as another intending candidate though no longer would-be co-leader. The name they propose is 'The Kiwi Party'.

On reflection, that is and apt moniker. Reasons for this include, but are not limited to:

  • The new party and the flightless bird are both endangered.

  • Both are freakish throwbacks, representative of a species that their advocates think can only thrive in a protected environment.

  • Both have a problem with rodents in their nests.

  • In French, the name could be rendered 'Qui Oui?', or 'Who will vote for them?'

  • Save the Kiwi says: "Unlike bird species that can entice their mate with colourful plumage or a beautiful song, the male kiwi has drab brown feathers to work with."

  • Perhaps they mean the boot polish. Somehow, I'm sure they all have exceptionally shiny shoes.

  • Or the currency: so far, Gordon Copeland's movements have been at least as reliable as those of the Kiwi dollar.

  • If a kiwi had a website, I imagine its apostrophes would also be pretty random.

  • If I laid the largest egg in proportion to my body weight of any bird then I, too, would probably want the right to hit my kids.

  • Larry Baldock always looks a bit dazed when he comes out in the daylight.

  • No flightless birds will enter parliament in the 2008 elections either.

  • Neither the proposed party, nor national symbol, will fly.

********
Advertisement - scroll to continue reading

© Scoop Media

Advertisement - scroll to continue reading
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Join Our Free Newsletter

Subscribe to Scoop’s 'The Catch Up' our free weekly newsletter sent to your inbox every Monday with stories from across our network.