Nepal Violence Have Created Tremendous Frustration
By Kamala Sarup
Violence and terrorism have created tremendous frustration and an inferiority complex in the youths. Violence and
political instability also cause frustration. Poverty and unemployment have been its results leads to violence too.
There is no hope for the immediate relief to these youths.
The True Story of My friend from my Diary
These days, my friend Bimal is mostly found staying at home. As far as he can manage he does not go out at all, but if
he does come out he selects the shortest route if possible but if he fails to do so prefers an isolated way even if he
may have to cover a longer distance. He has learnt to suppress his desires of walking or strolling, or to say it
frankly, his present condition and mental state have taught him to kill his desire. That's why he mostly stays at home.
The busy streets of Kathmandu are rarely without people and the possibility of meeting acquainted people is greater. The
small town forces him to imprison him within his home. In case he came across some relatives or friends, he would be
bombarded with questions like "where is your job nowadays, what have you been doing, why a highly capable man like you
keeping yourself aloof and on and on and on…". Thus he has experienced inferiority complex many times, trying to answer
their nosy enquiries. On several occasions he has felt low in front of his former class-friends seeing them walking
proudly in the national dress of Daura and Suruwal. It is to save himself from depression and inferiority complex
arising out of such chance encounters that he does not like to go out for a walk.
It's true that he does possess good intelligence. As a student at his school and college, he had proved to be quite
brilliant. Due to his poor financial background, he could not carry on his higher studies beyond his bachelor's degree.
He had, therefore, no other option but to rush to get a job. He needed a job not only for himself but to maintain his
entire family. He would get a job and begin to work but it was always temporary. He studied hard, gave his tests but he
was always denied a permanent job because of violence in the country. Political instability and disruption in the
economic activities, job market continues to shrink as a large number of youths have difficulty to land a job. From time
to time, his self-confidence and efforts deceived him and gradually he reached a state of his mind when not a single
trace of self-confidence remained within him. He lost even his temporary job. As a result, his talent died with his
mental spirit and now he has remained hollow like a dry log, living a meaningless life.
In the literary field, however, he was able to establish himself quite strongly. He naturally drew the attention of
renowned critics toward his subject matter, style and innate capabilities. But nowadays, he has completely withdrawn
himself from that field too. He has today doubts that what he wrote was appropriate, his style attractive and his
thoughts powerful. That is why his energy to create literary works has almost dried. Whatever self-satisfaction he
derived from his literary creations earlier has now changed into equal dissatisfaction. Due to this very
dissatisfaction, he has completely severed himself from his literary connections. Nowadays, there is not a single field
where he is attached. He is limited to his own loneliness and within his own household environment.
Home! Even at home he hasn't got any desired atmosphere. The income sources of his household were unable to meet its
limitless needs and to cope with its uncontrollable expenses. Therefore, he was watching his retired old father who was
slowly withering away in worries at his meager amount of pension money. The unseen dream of his ageing father that his
son would get a good job to help him run the family better, was everyday turning into mirage. He watched his father's
worry helplessly. Although it was his responsibility now to earn and take care of his father, it was his father who was
running the household.
Not only him, his wife and son were depending on his father's pension. Two years had already slipped by when he had
married his wife with the thought that she was just a single person whom he could easily afford to provide for, with his
talent and skill and a year has gone by that his wife had given birth to their son on the same strength. But even in
this, he was deceived by his self-confidence. Two years had passed but he was still incapable of affording his wife and
son. He feels quite depressed when he watches his wife silently eying with admiration the saris of new fashions proudly
shown to her by his cousin sister.
The cousin sister was married almost the same time as he was but her husband had bought so many expensive saris for her,
whereas, on his part, he hadn't been able to buy a new piece of cloth for his wife after marriage. It may be because she
knew the sad financial status of her husband that she has never told him that she needed anything. If by chance a
question was raised about the need of something, she tried to cover up the necessity by saying that several articles of
clothes and things bought during marriage were still lying unused. He knew well what articles he had bought during their
marriage and he understood his wife's way of handling the issue. His joblessness and inability to afford even small
necessities of the family have made him inwardly timid and chickenhearted. Therefore, he does not generally speak to his
wife and his parents. He thus tries to remain aloof from his family too.
He is a regular subscriber of the News dailies. Until a few years ago, he used to make cuttings of important events and
keep them in a file. He had filled four small and big diary books with possible questions on general knowledge. He was
well aware of any current events of the world, but nowadays he does not read any news with interest. He is more
interested in the "wanted columns" than in the news. He makes himself a candidate for any post he thinks suitable for
himself, but there is no one to push him up for it.
Therefore, all his efforts go in vain. Nowadays, he has no energy and interest left in applying for any job as he knows
very well that a man is not considered suitable for a post at the present time quite because of his qualifications. And
thus just for the sake of ritual he sends applications. He has to attend at least two interviews every month but he is
almost certain that these interviews will be a habitual custom that he has been fulfilling. He has gone through several
interviews before these and thus he knows what these interviews are and why they are held. But like a dog kicked three
hundred and sixty-five days in a year and worshipped the three hundred and sixty-sixth day and like the saying that a
good day will certainly return even for a widow after the lapse of twelve years, he too has kept within him a tiny and
narrow hope that a good day will come to him. It is this hope that has helped him continue to live at the present time,
otherwise he has no faith on his living at all.
He did desire many times to start a private business but the lack of his abilities for investing money didn't allow him
a situation for starting any enterprise. On one hand, his family background and his prestigious status in the eyes of
society didn't permit him to begin a business below his standard, and on the other hand he could not afford to start a
business keeping up this so-called prestigious standard. Either he had to be born in an extremely high noble family or
he could do something if born in a lower status. It has indeed proved him a curse to be born in a middle class family.
Had he belonged to a high noble family he would have faced no difficulty at all, but if instead he was born in a low
family he would not be compelled to live a life with no confidence whatsoever in living. In that case, he could make a
living by selling meat by the roadside or selling cheap things spread over a flat bamboo platter (Nanglo) or by driving
a three-wheeler passenger cycle or a bullock cart. But he belongs to a class which has to protect the dignity of his
forefathers and save his family background from social criticisms and ironical remarks.
In such a situation as this, anger often surges within him against his own father. His father never crossed the
borderline of honesty as a result of which he remained as poor as ever. He did have opportunities of making money. He
knows for sure that the money that had stepped into his family threshold was kicked out by his father. His father had
started his job with the strong inner faith that if he acted honestly, God would feed him even by providing a lottery to
him. Thus his father got his retirement because of his honesty with a monthly pension of just seven hundred rupees. He
had managed to buy a very small plot of land on which he could erect an unfinished old house except which he could save
nothing for the future. Now at present, he has handed over to himself and his family a short story of honesty and a long
history of scarcity. And the whole family is enjoying what he has been able to afford.
It is indisputable that he has to struggle for existence and he has understood too that in the modern age when one
cannot survive only through struggle he is a traveler who has lost his sense of direction. He is lost in the path of
life from where he can neither com out himself nor there is anyone who would pull him out or push forward towards his
goal. Therefore, sincere work, talent and education will not be enough in this environment and in it if he has been able
to accomplish anything by being born as a human being, he has increased the lineage of his father, otherwise his
existence even for him is almost finished and in it he has no doubt whatsoever. Therefore, in the name of living even if
he is equipped with talent, he is carrying on a life with no real existence and enjoying tireless labor and inferiority
complex in this ceaseless battlefield. Nepal.
"Thanks to the political instability and growing violence". He told me.
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Nepali Journalist and Story Writer Kamala Sarup is an editor of peacejournalism.com. She is specialising in in-depth
reporting and writing on Peace, Anti War, Women, Terrorism, Democracy, and Development. Some of her publications are:
Women's Empowerment (Booklet). Prevention of trafficking in women through media,(Book) Efforts to Prevent Trafficking in
for Media Activism (Media research). Two Stories collections. Her interests include international conflict resolution,
cross-cultural communication, philosophy, feminism, political, socio-economic and literature. Her current plans are to
move on to humanitarian work in conflict areas in the near future. She also is experienced in organizational and
community development.