Lyndon Hood: Mr Field Goes To Wellington

Published: Fri 16 Mar 2007 04:27 PM
Scoop Satire: Mr Field Goes To WellingtonBy Lyndon Hood
Mr Field Goes To Wellington
Release Date: 14 March 2007
Category: Fiction
Tagline: "It's a hit for the kids!" "Who says you can't beat 'em?"
Plot Outline:
An idealistic man joins the New Zealand Parliament filled with a selfless desire to make the world a better place for his constituents, and for many people from places quite removed from his constituency. However, he rapidly discovers that the administration has been corrupted by the powerful and ruthless children's lobby.
His principles earn the wrath of 'Big Child' when he publicly opposes a bill removing the "discipline" defence for violence against children.
Facing charges of corruption, he joins in a extended attempt to delay the bill, giving a climactic speech which cites such authorities as the Holy Bible and that episode of the Simpsons where a young Ned Flanders' deliquency was cured by about a week of continuous spanking.
He also delays the passage of the bill using another administrative method, proposing 50 different amendments, fully one of which is considered.
During this heroic stalling action, his sinister opponents are overcome by his sincerity and dedication. Finally, he succeeds in delaying the implementation of the bill by a entire month.
In recognition of his efforts, a grateful nation makes use of the extra time by going on a child-hitting binge, as if that wasn't something we were doing anyway.
"Classic delaying tactics!" — Christchurch Press
"Rafts of amendments!" — NZPA
"I find that no conflict existed or appeared to exist between Mr Field’s private interest and the use of his influence as a Minister!" — Noel Igram, QC
· Phillip Field's MP character first appeared in 1993, and has been featuring in a long-running farce since 2005.
· New Zealand is an actual nation. It was the first country in the world to give women the vote, and look at it now.
· The original ending, in which police burst onto the floor of the debating chamber and arrested Field, was abandoned after disappointing reactions in previews. The final release fails to tie up the corruption allegations, which has led to speculation about a sequel.
· Billy Crystal appears in an uncredited cameo as the Minister of Finance
Other films featuring Taito Phillip Field:
The Mangereian Candidate
Wag the Dog
All the Prime Minister's Men

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