Parliament Must Stockpile an Anti-Tennis-Ball Vaccine Satire by Lyndon Hood
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Over recent weeks the public has become more and more aware of a major risk. One that threatens the stability of our
country. One that stikes unexpectedly and leaves the helpless victim - though he might not know it for months - as good
as dead.
It has already shown its potential to attack the highest levels of state. If it strikes again, our country could be left
leaderless in the midst of a crisis.
We must ask: is our Government doing enough to fight tennis-ball related accusations?
Some may blithely insist that it has only affected one person. But his associates have already displayed at least one of
his early symptoms - saying impolitic things about it in Parliament. Since the accusations can incubate for more than
two decades, we may already be in the grip of an epidemic.
We must vaccinate our leaders at once!
We cannot leave this to fester. Events have already shown that if we ignore it, it will not go away.
The contagion will be more difficult to contain because it is transmitted instantly over great distances by the media.
Unlike, for example, assumptions about any man being a potential predator, which thrive in closely-packed, closed
environments such as aircraft.
The revelation that the police believe there is a case to answer has made the allegations even more virulent. But the
absence of the police report - containing actual evidence and a description of the investigation - they have been too
vague to combat by usual scientific means.
Worse - the usual methods may not work. This class of accusation - historical - arises easily but if famously difficult
to combat. One accepted approach is carefully examining the allegations in themselves and how they arose. Another is
deliberately seeking people or evidence that should corroborate the allegations but don't. Another is assessing their
inherent credibility.
These specifics are employed only rarely and often have little or no effect.
So now we are unprepared, with the first allegation expect to emerge in its evidential form at any moment.
This will make it even deadlier, and delay it though we may, we are unprepared.
However, even if the evidence shows the allegation is obvious true, they still may be combated by the right treatment.
After a convalescence of perhaps a little less than three years, the patient could recover almost completely
The report into Waiouru Camp has demonstrated that an surfeit of evidence - even if it does come mostly from people who
came forward specifically to complain - can in fact make accusations, if not less damning, at least a little more boring
for the public.
And it might, for instance, be found that there was no 'culture of abuse'.
However, for the sake of future prevention, I urge that we develop a vaccine. I urgently require financial and
legislative support for this important research, which has been stalled at a vital stage.
Unfortunately, trials have not been approved.
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