Counter-protesters contemplating smaller venue

Washington, D.C.-- It sounded good in theory: assemble thousands of red-state, red-blooded Americans to shout down the "America-hating peaceniks" that descended on D.C. this past weekend.

But as the anti-war demonstrators came in droves, totalling well over the expected 100,000 benchmark, it became obvious that the counter-rally was suffering a recruiting problem that made the U.S. military's shortfall look like a Clinton surplus.

Out of an anticipated 20,000 counter-protesters, only 200 to 400 showed up, and most of them skipped the march to wait in their air-conditioned SUVs for the concert.

"Turns out eternal global war may not be a winning cause...even among Republicans," admitted Mike Archer, one of the organizers of the event.

His focus now is scaling down operations in preparation for next year and figuring out what to do with all the leftover "America: Love it or Leave it" and "Blame America Firsters, Go Home" signs.

"I'd recycle them, but I led an initiative to cut my city's recycling program out of the budget earlier this year cuz' it sounded like a liberal big government program. I'm kicking myself, now."

Archer thinks one of the reasons few people showed up is the fact that all of the musicians with any talent and name recognition are liberals.

"We have, like, Ted Nugent and Gene Simmons, and that's pretty much it. And those guys aren't the draw they used to be."

Archer and the other organizers said they have lost faith in their fellow Republicans after their poor showing last weekend.

"It's not like we were asking them to join the military, or anything crazy like that. All they had to do was walk around D.C. holding signs. You'd think they could skip one weekend of watching football for a lost cause."

ENDS

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