INDEPENDENT NEWS

Scoop Feedback: Domestic Violence & Race Relations

Published: Fri 28 May 2004 12:48 AM
In this edition:
Condolences Are Extended To The Mercer Family
Victim had plan to save children
Domestic Violence Fear- Mercer Case
Race Relations
ACT's Comments Regarding Maori and Blankets
Scoop welcomes reader feedback please send you news and views to editor@scoop.co.nz
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Condolences Are Extended To The Mercer Family
Letter to the Editor
My condolences are extended to the Mercer family at this time. I wish that someone had intervened, sooner to help resolve your family conflict.
The plan to save children from domestic violence needs to be taught in the educational system starting from a kindergarten level. That is training in how to get along with each other, and the way to resolve conflict when people are not getting along. This is tackling the root of the problem. Children that learn to get along with each other will become adults that know how to get along with each other.
I remember being in Kindy, 14 years ago, and trying to tell the teachers of offences taking place. The teachers told me to let the children sort our their own problems. “But someone has to tell them the difference between right and wrong,” I protested, heart pounding.
I moved through the public school system in New Zealand and found the same attitudes among teachers. They would not comment on right or wrong behaviours among the students. They said, “that children need to learn morals and ethics at home”, therefore clear-cut ethical training was sadly missing, and the conflicts and fights got worse. (Strongest Surviving)
Is that what has happened in the Mercer family, and all other families involved in domestic violence in this nation? Is no one brave enough to tell them the difference between right and wrong? No intervention until it is too late, and then people are hurt or killed. Isn’t it time for a change?
One programme that I have found that is brave enough to teach the difference between right and wrong is called NO-EXCUSES. I recommend taking a look at the website and promoting early childhood education in the method that teaches ethics, or the difference between right and wrong.
I am now a trained facilitator in the NO-EXCUSES programme specialising in Conflict Resolution. The method has been very popular and successful in leadership training camps at Tira Ora Lodge, in the Pelorus Sound.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Patience (age 17)
HAVELOCK
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Victim had plan to save children
Letter to the Editor
What can we learn from the Mercer family?
The strongest Protection Order in place is still weaker than Self Control. The loudest alarm system is quieter than the warning bells ringing when a couple starts arguing, fighting, and separating without resolving conflict.
The safest place for children to go, is into the loving arms of parents who know how to get along with each other.
The greatest plan to save the children of this nation, is to teach mothers and fathers how to love each other, resolve their conflict, and stay faithful to each other, and love their children.
The Bible teaches us that “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave”, and is to be avoided.
Melissa Winslade
Revival-For-Our-People.Org
Otago
Yours faithfully
Melissa Winslade OTAGO
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Domestic Violence Fear- Mercer Case
Letter to the Editor
External aids such as alarm systems, Protection Orders, and escape plans for children will not guarantee safety from domestic violence. The only guarantee to safety in relationships, is training in conflict resolution. When a couple is married, they do not intend to kill each other, or their children at some later date.
Everyone enjoys the happy part of relationships, likewise, everyone will benefit from training in conflict resolution. Conflict is part of life. Unresolved conflict can lead to depression or aggression. People need to learn how to resolve conflict and preserve healthy long lasting relationships.
Internal aids for men,women and children, in conflict resolution are worthwhile investments, in order to live in safety. Strengthening families to be safe, happy, and productive, giving shelter, nurture, and respect to the young and old, and guidance to all on how to resolve conflict will lead to a zero tolerance for violence in our communities.
Annebeth Riles Waikouaiti OTAGO
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Race Relations
Letter to the Editor
In these times of sad news, fad news, and bad news, perhaps it is prudent to consider some glad news as it may relate to NZ for a change. For example, when you step on a bus, isn't it a relief to know that a suicide bomber most likely won't be aboard?
When you need some water, isn't it convenient not to have to walk 2 miles to get it? Phones are useful too, aren't they?
Not many of them in the third world. 3 yearly elections, with a plethora of candidates to choose from - democracy, not monarchy, civil war, coup, or dictatorship for us. Over 50% of Maori in relationships with Kirima - puts a new light on race relations, and somewhat overshadows the recent Hikoi I would have thought. Have we got some work to do? Sure. Might pay not to lose sight of what we have already got though - its a lot more than many others will ever have.
Yours faithfully
Stephen D. Taylor Onehunga AUCKLAND
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ACT's Comments Regarding Maori and Blankets
Letter to the Editor
The ACT party in its sadly too frequent Letter asks the question that if Maori want their foreshore and seabed back, does that mean ‘we’ should get back our blanket.
I am rather surprised that this snide little mocking remark made it past the proof readers. If anyone wanted evidence that the ACT party is merely indulging in sophistry in its many reasoned-sounding public stances, this little gibe certainly gives them that.
How many blankets exactly did ‘we’ pay for the Foreshore and Seabed?
Yours faithfully
Deb Wansink Henderson AUCKLAND
*******ENDS********
Scoop Feedback
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