INDEPENDENT NEWS

Bush Informs Nations Of The World "You're Next"

Published: Thu 25 Sep 2003 11:32 AM
Bush informs nations of the world "you're next" in speech to UN
President points out that member nations of the UN were clearly not "with us" during the invasion of Iraq.
Satire from… freepressed.com

President Bush took a hard line in his speech to the UN by revealing his plan to conquer the earth and make it safe for crony capitalism.
New York, NY --Referencing his Sept. 2001 dictum that nations of the world are either "with us or against us" in the war on terrorism, President Bush noted that the UN was "clearly not with us during Operation Iraqi Freedom."
Bush said as a result, it is necessary for the United States to protect itself from the new and emerging threats coming from Europe, Asia, Latin America, Africa and Canada.
"Our actions in Afghanistan and Iraq were supported by nearly three other nations, and America is grateful to each one," he said. "I also recognize that an overwhelming majority of the sovereign nations of this assembly disagreed with our actions. To those I say you're next!"
The president cited the Bush Doctrine of preemptive war and the King James Bible as his justification for initiating Armageddon.
"It says right there in Scripture that the armies of heaven will do battle against evil doers," he said. "That's what I'm doing. You see, I'm the president of the earth so whatever I decide goes."
Bush's remarks to the General Assembly met with sharp rebukes from French President Jacques Chirac, who was still pissed about the whole unilateral invasion of Iraq thing.
"No one can act alone in the name of all and no one can accept the anarchy of a society without rules,"he said. "The war, launched without the authorization of the Security Council, shook the multilateral system."
President Bush said Chirac's comments were not helpful in the ongoing and eternal "war on terror."
"That's exactly what I'm talkin' about," Bush said. "Whose side are you on anyway, Pepe?"
Bush proceeded to check off his hitlist of countries in order of their invasion by the United States.
"That's the kind of talk that gets a country on the top of the list," Bush said referring to France. "Who's next? Who wants some of this? That's what I thought. You're all a bunch of panzies."
The "leader of the free world" then stormed out of the UN chambers to begin implementation of Operation Global Destruction.
"No nation will ever misunderestimate me again," Dubya grunted.
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