Top 10 things NZ Immigration says to visiting terrorists
1. "Let's see, you're wanted for 3 bombings in France. Hey, guess what? That qualifies you for a subsidised home loan!"
2. "No, you declare weapons at Customs. I need to check if you have any literature with non-inclusive language."
3. "I'm sorry I don't know if student loans are available for New Zealand flight schools."
4. "Let me get this straight - you're a rock promoter and you're here to meet the members of the band 'Jihad'?"
5. "And here's a copy of a brochure which translates the Treaty of Waitangi into Arabic."
6. "Can I help you carry that AK 47 – and, sorry, you can't take that banana into New Zealand."
7. "Yes, we do have an English language requirement – but it's in Maori."
8. "Sorry, mate we don't let your type into our country... oops my apologies, welcome home Mr Tanczos!"
9. "You're in luck, we do have a shortage of skilled pipe bomb makers in New Zealand, Mr Abdul."
10. "No sir, I assure you that is a photo of our Prime Minister. Some leaders do shave off their moustaches, you know."
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