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NOT SHARP LANGUAGE: Technology for Country Folk

Published: Mon 9 Apr 2001 03:28 PM
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NOT SHARP LANGUAGE: Technology for Country Folk
The following is a set of definitions, not the sharpest ever seen, of technology terms for Country folk….
LOG ON:
Making a wood stove hot
LOG OFF:
Too much wood on fire
MONITOR:
Keep'n an eye on the wood stove
DOWN LOAD:
Gitten the farwood off'n the truck
MEGA HERTZ:
When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood
FLOPPY DISC:
Whatcha git from tryin to tote too much farwood
RAM:
That thar thang what splits the farwood
HARD DRIVE:
Gitten home in the winter time
WINDOWS:
Whut to shut when its cold outside
SCREEN:
Whut to shut when its black fly season
BYTE:
Whut dem dang flys do
CHIP:
Munchies fer the TV
MICRO CHIP:
Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag
MODEM:
Whatcha do to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX:
Ole Dan Matrix's wife
LAP TOP:
Whar the kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD:
Whar you hang the dang truck keys
SOFTWARE:
Dem dang plastic forks and knifes
MOUSE:
What eats the grain in the barn
MOUSE PAD:
That's hippie talk fer where the mouse lives
MAINFRAME:
Holds up the barn roof
PORT:
Fancy flatlander wine
ENTER:
Notherner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all"
CLICK:
Whut you hear when you cock yer gun
DOUBLE CLICK:
When you cock the double barrel
REBOOT:
Whut you have to do right before bedtime, when you have to go
to the outhouse
- Author unknown, forwarded by a Sharp Stories reader WHO HAS WON BEER!!!
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