INDEPENDENT NEWS

SHARP LANGUAGE: New Words For A New Century

Published: Mon 26 Mar 2001 11:01 AM
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SHARP LANGUAGE: New Words For A New Century
The truly sharp will already be using these new words…
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
SITCOMs - (Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What Yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
SWIPED OUT - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
GOOD JOB - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" Job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the heck out of anelectronic device to get it to work again.
UNINSTALLED - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voice-mail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an Uninstalled Vice President. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." *(Syn: decruitment.)
YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, "We each owe $8, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps."
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstreamonly to get screwed and die in the end.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404, man."
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.*Syn: IGNOSECOND, the moment between letting go of the door handle as you swing the car door shut and the actual closing of the door, during which you suddenly realize the keys are still in the ignition.........
- author unknown, forwarded by a reader WHO HAS WON BEER!!!
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