SHARP TRANSLATION: Situation Vacant Adverts
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SHARP TRANSLATION: Situation Vacant Adverts
When applying for your next sharp job the following meanings of commonly used phrases in the Situations Vacant columns ought to be kept in mind.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by
paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED
COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK
ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll
dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear
earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six
months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME
REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and some time each
weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can
boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have
no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female Applicants
must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN
PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the
position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS
PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is
just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE
VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace three
people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A
MUST:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual
chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have
the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management
communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do
it.
- supplied by a Scoop Sharp stories reader WHO HAS WON BEER!!!
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