Lockdown An Extra Stress For Separating Couples

Relationship breakdowns, family separation or divorce is one of the most difficult things a family can face.

The recent lockdowns may have amplified existing problems for couples going through a separation, says Family Works Practice Development Manager Nici Nixon.

“We had increased cases coming to our dispute resolution service after the 2020 lockdown because parents and carers were really struggling to sort out care arrangements for their tamariki.

“These lockdowns can highlight or amplify problems that have been bubbling beneath the surface.”

Family Works’ Family Dispute Resolution service helps separating or separated parents sort out their children’s day-to-day care and contact arrangements, without the need or expense of going to Family Court.

Nici says this can be difficult at any time, but during lockdown it can become much harder.

“During a lockdown there are rigid rules imposed externally that people need to adhere to and try to make sense of. Peoples’ anxiety increases when they have fewer options and less contact with other people and agencies for support.

“One of the consequences is for the tamariki who can be exposed to conflict and more uncertainty. It just becomes a nightmare, and all of it can have an impact on the mental health of the whānau.”

With Mental Health Awareness Week coming up, and the encouragement for New Zealanders to ‘take time to kōrero’, Nici says mediation creates a supportive and safe environment for parents to talk.

The mediation process also ensures that the children’s voices are really heard so parents can take account of their thoughts and feelings.

“The thing about mediation is that it keeps the interactions more neutral. It can significantly improve a situation and ensure that all parties are able to have their say, ask questions and hear the other person’s point of view.

“People are less likely to walk out during discussions – mediation can help them communicate in a way so they can move forward.”

Family Works’ dispute resolution service is funded by the Ministry of Justice so families who need help may qualify to have the full cost of mediation covered, and if not, the most they will pay is $448.50 – a fraction of any lawyer’s fees.

For more information about Family Dispute Resolution, call 0800 737 6583 or visit www.resolutionservices.org.nz

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