Kids Don’t Come With A Manual – On Whakaata Māori

Kia tika te wā. Kia tika te wāhi. Kia tika te tangata; Kia ora te whanau!

Neuroscience educator and child counsellor, Nathan Wallis (Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Kahu), shares his perspective on the challenges of parenting today.

Funded by NZ On Air, the series KIDS DON’T COME WITH A MANUAL, tackles real-life strategies and a different approach to raising tamariki.

KIDS DON’T COME WITH A MANUAL premieres on Monday 19 June 2023 at 7.30 PM on Whakaata Māori and MĀORI+.

Nathan Wallis says the series is unique in that it combines the tikanga Māori knowledge and experience of Hinewirangi Kohu-Morgan (Ngāti Ranginui, Ngāti Kahungunu, Ngāti Kahu) with his own expertise in neuroscience to deliver an accessible strengths-based Māori parenting programme grounded in traditional values.

“Hinewirangi [who sadly passed away shortly after filming this series] conducted workshops on all aspects of Maori philosophies of mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Her work was based on lived experience and she used those experiences to help men, women, and children to heal,” says Nathan.

“There is a clear connection between what modern day neuroscience is telling us about how the brain develops and works, with the teachings of our tūpuna,” he says.

“Our tūpuna were able to work out the inner workings of how humans developed, and arrive at the same conclusions as neuroscientists in the 21st century.”

“This serves to not only directly whakamana the scientific validity of the taonga tuku iho handed to us via whakataukī, oreore, karakia, and waiata from our tūpuna, but also to indirectly whakamana te ao Māori and ngā tangata Māori katoa.

“Historical evidence from Te Mana Ririki references the first missionaries’ pre-colonisation, pre-treaty, written accounts that provided evidence of Māori parenting, and the principles and tikanga that underpinned it.

“Those missionaries saw fearsome-looking men as fathers caring for their sons,” says Nathan, “the children were happy, unafraid of strangers, curious, creative, adventurous and talkative.

“In short, those accounts read as a modern day high quality practice model that puts the child’s well-being at the centre of the whānau model, and builds robust resilience and child protection practices around that.

“Many of the standard practices from pre-colonisation are seen as models or exemplars of excellence today.”

Coming up on KIDS DON’T COME WITH A MANUAL:

EPISODE 1 – MONDAY 19 JUNE 7.30 PM: TAMMY – Tammy is a single mum who co-parents with her ex-partner Lewy. She is worried about her son Takoha missing out on having a constant father figure and wonders if his sometimes disruptive behaviour comes from this. Takoha is bright and full of beans but his parents suspect he may have ADHD.

EPISODE 2 – MONDAY 26 JUNE 7.30 PM: REGINA – A lack of support from health agencies has left mum of four Regina struggling to keep up with caring for her son Te Kaha who has a rare genetic disorder MECP2 Duplication Syndrome. After reaching dead end after dead end trying to get support from the health system, how can Regina recharge herself and be present for her other children when she feels like she is overwhelmed caring for her high needs child?

EPISODE 3 – MONDAY 3 JULY 7.30 PM: MITCH – Macsen has severe life-threatening allergies so is unable to go to preschool. Stay at home dad Mitch is worried he is missing out on key milestones by not being in daycare. Is his older daughter Maddyn being disadvantaged by the time taken up caring for the younger son?

EPISODE 4 – MONDAY 10 JULY 7.30 PM: PINI – After escaping an abusive relationship, single mum of four, Pini, is on a new path forward. She has created a new life for herself and her tamariki and is looking for ways to help support her son, who is struggling with severe anxiety and PTSD.

EPISODE 5 – MONDAY 17 JULY 7.30 PM: ARONA – Arona (Ngāti Hine, Ngāpuhi, Te Arawa) is a māmā to five teenagers and a one year old. Due to housing limitations the whānau has had to split where they live. She wants to know how to keep everyone, especially teenagers, connected when they can’t all live under the same roof.

EPISODE 6 – MONDAY 17 JULY 7.30 PM: BRIAR – Briar (Ngāpuhi and Te Rarawa), a te reo Māori teacher, recently moved her whānau home from France. She is a busy māmā of five who only speaks te reo Māori to her tamariki. However, son Jean Paul has recently been diagnosed with dyspraxia.

NATHAN WALLIS

Nathan Wallis, a renowned neuroscience educator, is a father of three, grandfather, stepfather to two and foster father to many more. His professional background includes early childhood teacher, child therapist, social service manager, university lecturer and neuroscience trainer. He is an advisor for the Ministry of Education, and an expert advisor to the Ministry of Vulnerable Children.

HINEWIRANGI KOHU-MORGAN (Ngāti Ranginui, Ngāti Kahungunu, Ngāti Kahu)

Hinewirangi Kohu-Morgan was an artist, poet, and a visionary. She opened the Māori Women’s Centre in Kirikiriroa and worked in Women’s Refuge, Te Kakano O Te Whānau – Rape Crisis, as a writer, poet and storyteller, wahine toa (warrior female) for mana wahine (female power) and mana tangata, (authority of people) on land marches and as a traditional rights activist.

She was uniquely gifted across a broad spectrum of skills and knowledge. Her life was art; she drew out the beauty she saw in inanimate objects and weaves stories of whakapapa and continuity, the interdependence and connectedness between spiritual and earthly, the love she had for humanity, our strengths and our frailty.

Hinewirangi provided us with a true example of mana motuhake, doing things her way with pure passion and self-determination.

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