Oily Rag column - week beginning 31 October 2011

Oily Rag column - week beginning 31 October 2011

Oily Rag Party Manifesto
By Frank and Muriel Newman
Hoardings are sprouting like spring mushrooms and political promises are filling our airwaves - it must be election time! Not to be denied a soapbox, the Oily Rag community has been out on the hustings, door knocking, meeting and greeting, smiling much while saying little, and generally getting out there encouraging people to support the Oily Rag cause.

Our workers have even gone as far as publishing the “Living off the Smell of an Oily Rag Party Manifesto – a complete and unique guide to the virtues of living the Oily Rag lifestyle in three simple easily understood steps”.

But before looking at some extracts from that policy document, here’s a statement from our leader. “An Oily Rag lifestyle is what it means to be New Zealander. It’s about being a proud and happy Kiwi looking ahead to a secure and prosperous future for your children and their children. It’s about having a house to call home where you are the master of your money not a slave to it. That’s our hope, that’s our vision for all New Zealanders. And that’s why you should cast a vote for the Living off the Smell of an Oily Rag Party.”

Workplace policy
• Stretch from New Plymouth says, “Always take a cut lunch to work – it’s guaranteed to save you heaps.”
GST on fruit and vegetables
• The Oily Rag Party believes families should not pay GST on their vegetables - in fact they shouldn’t pay for veggies at all, they should grow them!
• Dorothy from Whangarei says, “Why complain about the high price of parsnips, carrots, leeks and silver beet in the supermarket when growing even a few winter vegetables is so easy and much cheaper. One packet of seed or one punnet of seedlings plus the fertiliser is less than the cost of one kilo of vegetables on sale. Winter vegetables require fewer sprays and bug killers than summer ones.”
Recycling
• We have a waste not want policy, even when it comes to old basketballs. Dianne, an oily rag club member says, “Simply cut the tops of and poke a few holes in the base of the ball. Fill with sphagnum moss and soil, and fill with plants, Poke four holes evenly around the top and hang up with rope or what you have lying around. Makes a good hanging basket.”
• Glen from Wellington has a policy straight from the gutter. “Board up the ends of an old piece of guttering. Half fill it with sphagnum moss and then soil on top. Plant out with parsley which will grow nicely even over winter. Probably can do little lettuces too.”
Transport policy
• Reduce your speed and save money. Slowing down from 110 km to 100 km will result in a 15 percent fuel saving, and you will avoid speeding tickets! Maniac type driving not only costs money it aggravates everyone, endangers yourself, your passengers and the public.
• Make sure tyre pressures are right. According to Beaurepairs, every 10 percent under the vehicle manufacturer’s recommended tyre pressure costs about 2.5 percent in extra fuel consumption.
The economy
• “Use half as much, and get the product at half price!” – an old Oily Rag saying (which we just made up now! - oily rag ed).
• Any debt is a bad debt. It takes five minutes to get into debt, and a lifetime to get out if it.
• Cheap is good but free is better.
KiwiSaver
• Every kiwi should save - and could if they lived off the smell of an oily rag. As Samuel Johnson is said to have said, "Without frugality none can be rich, and with it very few would be poor."
The retirement age
• Any age is a good age to retire, and many would do so sooner if they lived off the smell of an oily rag.
And now a concluding remark from our Leader: “Remember, your future is you. Be a proud Oily Rag Kiwi - vote for a better future by voting for the Oily Rag Party on election day”!
You can add our favourite penny pinching policy by visiting the oily rag website or write to Living off the Smell of an Oily Rag, PO Box 984, Whangarei. The book Living off the Smell of an Oily Rag by Frank & Muriel Newman is available online at www.oilyrag.co.nz.
* Frank and Muriel Newman are the authors of Living Off the Smell of an Oily Rag in NZ. Readers can submit their oily rag tips on-line at www.oilyrag.co.nz. The book is available from bookstores and online at www.oilyrag.co.nz.

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