Global outrage as Wellington radio station forced left

Reports of shock, bewilderment and marauding kittens met the announcement today that iconic Wellington station RadioActive.FM has been forced to change its frequency.

The changeover for the new frequency 88.6FM happens at 8am Saturday April 2. At that time the old frequency 89FM will no longer operate.

This is because the government’s new frequency changes dictate that they shoudn’t interfere with each other by being too close on the spectrum.

According to the definitive history of Radio Active, The Definitive History of Radio Active, Radio Active was the first radio station in New Zealand to broadcast on the FM band.

Despite its role in history, the 89FM frequency was looking forward to early retirement. “Those tepid commercial giants can get their way to produce more mainstream radio,” but that’s okay I guess,” it said.

Station manager Dave Gibbons said that while it was hard to say goodbye to 89FM, a change was as good as a holiday. Before he left on holiday, Mr Gibbons said the move was made for technical and political reasons.

“We had no choice in the matter as part of a nationwide frequency re-organisation that has affected many other stations,” he said. “But also we saw it as an opportunity.

“With the growing conservatism in society we decided to lead the charge back to the left, so now our frequency has shifted left on the dial. At that frequency we'll be louder and clearer and we'll still be broadcasting to the world on RadioActive.FM website and the future digital path and soon to being able to podcast all our shows from July 1st 2011.”

Despite the optimism, hordes of Wellingtonians expressed varying degrees of outrage and grief.

Former Prime Minister Helen Clark was thought to be considering a move back to New Zealand to 'kick some shit up like a farmer', and an unnamed National MP said he'd still enjoy laxing out the crisp musical biscuits on the only station in town that regularly brings da rukkus.

Internationally, Elvis turned in his grave, Charlie Sheen found god, and Perez Hilton had resigned his membership of the Rebecca Black fanclub in disgust.

Not even Ken Ring could predict the anguish, apparently.

Disclaimer: Some of the latter statements may have come from unreliable sources and could in fact be kaka. However, it is true: 89FM is no longer. Long Live Radio Active on 88.6FM

ENDS

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