Regular Kiwi parents say positive discipline works

Media release
10:00am Thursday 15 October 2009

Regular Kiwi parents say positive discipline works

Kiwi families say they are increasingly using positive parenting techniques because they work, according to 100 ordinary families’ descriptions of their own parenting methods.

Their voices provide a snapshot of parenting in New Zealand today.

Interviews were conducted with 117 parents from 100 families as part of a Families Commission funded project that investigated what kind of discipline strategies are used by today’s families with their pre-school children. Researchers Julie Lawrence and Anne B Smith also asked families to record their discipline practices in parenting diaries. The project report ‘Discipline in context: families’ disciplinary practices for children aged under five’ was published today.

Chief Commissioner Jan Pryor says the results are very encouraging and show parents try very hard to use techniques that they think are effective.

“Parents told us they preferred to use positive reinforcement with their kids because that is what they think works best.”

Parents in the survey were three times more likely to use positive reinforcement, praise and affirmation rather than punishment.

One parent gave an example of praise:
“We shared the excitement with everyone. Let’s phone grandma [about] doing poos in the toilet. There is only so much praise two people can give, but if you phone grandparents and friends…”

Another says:
“…if he’s been regularly doing something not right and (then) if he does it well catching him (doing it right) and (saying) ‘that’s brilliant’ and giving him a kiss or a cuddle. He loves doing the right thing – you can tell.”

When parents do use punishment they are most likely to use ‘time out’ or withdrawal of privileges, which they say are the most effective punishment tools. Smacking was used infrequently and generally as a last resort. Only nine percent of parents thought smacking was effective.

Overall most parents are firm but fair in their style of parenting, as opposed to totally authoritarian or permissive.

“The majority of parents surveyed say discipline is about getting their children to behave in a socially acceptable way.

“There is also an encouraging indication in this report that our family violence messages, alongside positive parenting information and supports, are helping parents find techniques that work for them.”

Supports include wider family, friends, written material, and professionals such as early childhood teachers, doctors and Plunket nurses.

The study surveyed 98 mothers, 16 fathers, and three grandparents, 10 per cent of whom were Māori. The families had an average household income of $50,000 - $60,000.

ENDS

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