INDEPENDENT NEWS

American Airhead

Published: Fri 18 Jan 2008 12:29 AM
SOLO-International Press Release: American Airhead
Lindsay Perigo
January 18, 2008
The business of electing an American president in 2008 seems to be reminiscent more of the pop show American Idol than it is of a reputable political process, observes SOLO Principal Lindsay Perigo.
"Though in the presidential contest the judges change with each show, the hype, the hysteria and the sheer mindlessness do not, and the winners are consistently reprobates," says Perigo.
"Thus far the show that we might reasonably call American Airhead (subsuming both voters and candidates) has thrown up a Bible-bashing Baptist hick named Huckabee, a Mormon named Mitt (all smarm, no substance), a decent man with indecent contradictions (McCain), a closet(?) Islamofascist and avowed Christian whose name rhymes with Osama, and the incorrigible liar Clinton, born in 1947, who claims to have been named after Sir Edmund Hillary, who climbed Mt. Everest in 1953.
"These dissolutes are all irrational socialists and mystics to one degree or another. They are both Attilas AND Witch Doctors, as Ayn Rand might say. It remains to be seen how the one viable candidate whose platform is at least Producer-friendly and vaguely compatible with the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights - remember those? Inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? Untrammeled freedom of speech? Separation of church and state, etc.? - will fare when he enters the show in earnest, but the portents are not good for Rudy Giuliani. Voters and candidates alike are blithely unfamiliar with America's founding documents. The younger generation of ritalin retards couldn't even read them. If it could read them, it couldn't concentrate for long enough to finish them. If it could both read and finish them, it couldn't understand them.
"America, in short, is stuffed, if American Airhead is anything to go by. The parties should simply run with Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and be done with it," Perigo concludes, adding:
"America's - and civilization's - epitaph shall surely read: Succumbed to the banality of evil."
ENDS

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