INDEPENDENT NEWS

No Spanks Please, We're Penguins

Published: Fri 13 Jun 2003 12:12 AM
Futile Antartica Party
Press Release
No Spanks Please, We're Penguins
"We really want to thank TV3 for screening its "Naked Bum" documentary on Thursday. Thanks to their foresight, the last remaining SM nuns exploded in frustration at the parade of bouncing bare buttocks as they bounded across the screen, leaving the former Corrective Party with a clean slate." Ms Tripitaka Adelie-Penguin said at the Annual Conference of the renamed Futile Antarctica Party today.
"The Corrective Party had too many image problems. People kept visualising repressed repressive SM nuns prowling across the landscape with large protractors, intent on terrorising anyone in skintight lycra shorts. Now FAP can get on with issues close to our feathered bodies, like stamping out the scourge of corn chips addiction on our hatchlings and the growing menace of snackbars. And anyway, I'm far more photogenic..." beamed a contented Ms Adelie-Penguin, FAP MP for the Ross Dependency as the conference closed.
Ms Tripitaka Adelie Penguin
Futile Antarctica Party MP,
Ross Dependency
"Without Fear We Oppose Fast Food"
(06) 3569099

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