THE NEW WRITE
Official Newsletter of the New Zealand Young Nationals
10th September 2002
“If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?” -A Letter to Time magazine on their vegetarian
special
1. KEEP TALKING TO OUR ALLIES OVER IRAQ SAYS BILL 2. DR DON MEETS YOUNG NATS 3. DEBUT OF THE GREEN MUPPET - LIBZ 4. HOT
GOSS FROM PARLIAMENT 5. JOKE OF THE WEEK 6. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
1. KEEP TALKING TO OUR ALLIES OVER IRAQ SAYS BILL
New Zealand must keep an open mind, and keep talking to our allies over the issue of Iraq says National Leader Bill
English.
"The National Party knows the importance of keeping good relations with our long standing allies, America, Britain and
Australia. We should keep talking to them about their position on Iraq.
"Iraq is uniquely dangerous. Saddam Hussein has attacked his neighbours, has used chemical weapons to kill innocent
people and caused two major wars in the Gulf. The world can’t afford for Hussein to have weapons of mass destruction.
"If our allies believe and can demonstrate that Iraq, a proven aggressive nation under Hussein’s rule is a serious
threat then we must keep the door open to talk to them.
"In times of trouble there can be no doubt who New Zealand would call on so it is only right that we support those who
we would expect to back us.
"The Government appears to have ruled out giving any support at all, we haven’t and it is important that we don’t close
the door," said Mr English.
2. DR DON MEETS YOUNG NATS
Don Brash, Bill English, John Carter, Southland and Swedes all came together last Friday night and provided Wellington
Young Nationals with an entertaining, informative and unforgettable function.
Bill English entertained the crowd with his anecdotes of Southland and Swedes, and gave us the opportunity to ask him
frank questions about policies and other issues facing the party, while reminding John Carter that a Swede was indeed
very different from a Kumara. Both MP’s were enthusiastic to hear what we thought about the campaign, processes and
policies and reminded us that Young Nationals play an important part within the party and that our input into policies
is valued.
After both MPs left (Bill had to go and put his “Swede” suit on for the Southland party), the evening carried on, with
the arrival of Dr Don Brash. Don gave us the opportunity to chat to him about his life, philosophies, and the different
things he wants to achieve in his first term as a politician. He entertained the crowd with stories of his days at
University, a history of the party and how things have changed since he first stood for parliament in 1980.
We were given an opportunity few people get to socialise with Don on a personal level. We learnt a lot about his life as
Reserve Bank Governor and what it means to him to be a National Party MP. He, like the other two MPs we met earlier on
in the evening, gave us his insight into the importance of Young Nats within the party and encouraged us to continue
speaking up about policies and issues concerning us. All in all it was an enjoyable evening and one many won’t forget.
-By Rebecca Barclay
3. DEBUT OF THE GREEN MUPPET – LIBZ
After watching the maiden Parliamentary speech of Random Trollop Metiria Turei, Libertarianz spokesman Tim Wikiriwhi
said he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Such mumbo jumbo makes me wonder if the country has been taken over by the
Muppets." "By peddling such radical separatist crap as Turei's, I expect the Greens to soon be holding the apartheid
(Maori) seats - unless that is Helen Clark and Margaret Wilson bribe the tribalists with even more stolen taxes."
Turei's position is a contradiction in terms, says Wikiriwhi, noting her claim to be an 'anarchist legislator.' "How
does this work?" asks Wikiriwhi. "How can she pretend to be 'anti-State' when most of her working life as a
resource-management lawyer has seen her sucking off the state tit; when all her political goals require an expansion of
state powers - not a reduction."
"If a fruit-loop Maori radical like Turei can get her bum on a Parliamentary seat, then surely that is all the proof we
need that Maori don't need the Apartheid seats in Parliament to get representation. They must be immediately abolished,"
he concluded.
4. HOT GOSS FROM PARLIAMENT
A fat edition this week! Keep sending your hot goss to newwrite@national.org.nz
*Ambitious MP David Cunliffe’s popularity continues to grow amongst his Labour Party colleagues. His fellow MPs now
helpfully remind people that the ‘t’ in his last name is silent.
*We've found out that one long-serving MP was expelled from his high school when he was a student. And the infraction
which got him expelled - having an affair with his music teacher! People would be surprised by whom it is but our lips
are sealed…
*TV3 reporter Astrid Smeele has defected to the dark side – no not TVNZ, but Trevor Mallard’s office. Ms Smeele will be
Trev’s new press secretary, with the unenviable job of trying to rebuild his tattered reputation.
*The editor of this fine publication nearly came to grief in Picton on Friday when he managed to lock himself and a
fellow Nat in a beer fridge at the local bottle store. The walk in fridge had no handle on the inside and they had to be
rescued by a staff member. Still, it would have been a nice way to go…
*Every single existing Labour MP has managed to get a job with more money or perks except fourth term MP Janet Mackey.
Mackey is reportedly furious with the snub, with every other returning MP gaining promotion. There are now 26 Ministers,
2 Under-Secretaries, 3 Parliamentary Private Secretaries, 3 Speakers and Assistants, 2 Whips, 1 High Commissioner to be
and 9 Select Committee Chairs yet nothing for her. Still not all is lost, at least Janet's daughter Moana will become an
MP when Porirua unionist Graham Kelly becomes High Commissioner to Canada.
*TVNZ reporter Garth Bray has been the butt of jokes around the press gallery this week after an embarrassing case of
mistaken identity. After interviewing Judy Kirk, a member of the public wandered up to Ms Kirk and asked: “Why was Don
Brash interviewing you?”
*United Future MPs didn't do much to dispel the image of them being Christian fundamentalists during their maiden
speeches. In total they mentioned Jesus Christ 17 times!!
*United Future Leader Peter Dunne has also been spotted sneaking into Michael Cullen's Wellington home at 11.00 p.m. a
few nights ago. Who knows what business got transacted there!
*Guess who Parliament’s new sex symbol is? No, not Don Brash – in fact it is young New Zealand First MP Craig McNair,
who has been setting female (and a few male) hearts a flutter.
However Craig “Debonair” McNair has yet to prove he is more than just a pretty face. When asked for his opinion in a
Select Committee last week, he replied “whatever the Right Honourable Winston Peters thinks is what I think”. In
private, Craig is a bit more casual though and refers to Winnie as “Mr Peters”.
*Among the female MPs, Deborah Coddington and Heather Roy of ACT have been attracting plenty of admirers. Green MP
Metiria Turei has not.
*Talking of Metiria, she showed the true colours of the Greens in her maiden speech when she decried all of NZ as a
racist society, claimed two parent families were a racist institution, and that the entire state is illegitimate. Not
that it’s stopping her drawing her salary though!
*And speaking of Deborah Coddington, guess which National MP used to date her? Hint: it’s not one you’d expect…
*Oh the irony. Air New Zealand’s press conference last week on the mechanical problems with their aircraft was delayed
because of – wait for it – mechanical problems with their projector screen.
*Radio NZ journalists are unhappy with massive potential budget cuts. Because of overspending in other areas, it looks
like the funding for News reporting will have to be cut by around $500,000.
*Who says Labour are cultural snobs? Asked a question in Parliament about rugby last week, Associate Arts Minister
Judith Tizard sniffed haughtily and opined: “Rugby? Do remind me, is that the game with an oval ball or a round one?”
*Remember the story a while ago about the Helengrad website, and suggestions that the PM’s office had forced the site to
close down? Well guess what – it wasn’t actually Helen, it was the New Zealand Herald who got touchy about it and
defended the PM’s honour. Read the full story at : www.nzherald.co.nz/
*The Sunday Star-Times article on a possible leadership change for National appears to be a case of a journalist
interviewing their typewriter, as Winston Peters once said. The journalist in question had been overseas for the last
four months, only returning to New Zealand last week. He has also been under pressure to come up with a “sensational”
front story, given the fierce competition amongst journalists and Sunday papers.
The credibility of the story is perhaps best demonstrated by this interesting point. An MP is listed at the start of the
story as being against Bill, and then another source at the end is quoted as saying they support Bill. In reality, both
sources are actually one and the same person.
5. JOKE OF THE WEEK
Helen Clark's plane crashes in a remote area. The SIS is dispatched to investigate.
Arriving at the crash site, they discover the wreckage of the plane in a hay paddock, but no bodies or evidence of human
remains.
Knowing that no one could have walked away from such a severe crash, they approached a farmer plowing an adjacent
paddock.
They ask the farmer if he knows anything about the crash. He replies "Yep, I saw the plane crash, and since there were
no survivors, I buried all of the passengers."
Startled, the SIS agent says "Sir, this is Helen Clark's plane! Our Prime Minister was on this plane! Are you sure she
was dead?"
The farmer says "Well, she kept on saying that she wasn't, but you know what a liar she is!"
6. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
http:// http://www.silentmajority.org.nz
A great website for people which promotes “a vision for New Zealand as a free, prosperous and vibrant society that
rewards achievement while caring for its less capable members.”
It has opinion pieces, news links, polls and lots of interesting stuff.
Any views expressed here are not necessarily those of New Zealand Young Nationals, or the New Zealand National Party.
Contributions, feedback, articles and subscriptions welcome. Email mailto: mailto:newwrite@national.org.nz
Editor: Phil Rennie