INDEPENDENT NEWS

Correctives: Haemorrhoids For Branding "Unseemly"

Published: Wed 22 Aug 2001 11:44 AM
"The Christian Haemorrhoids have gone completely over the top with their new-found enthusiasm for ...branding." Sister Palpitatia, Leader of the Corrective Party said today.
Sister Palpitatia thought the Corrective Party should take credit for the Haemorrhoids pursuit of the "born-again bottom-spanking believer" vote.
However, she thought "branding" was going a bit too far:
"Flagellation, yes. Especially if carried out on the shameless lycra-clad nubile bottoms of lewd cycle couriers!!! But we think that the New Zealand public does have its limits. We know that many New Zealanders see nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it is restricted to consenting adults who love discipline. But branding is mutilating the body and that's too kinky for us!!!" She continued.
She said that the brands in question should also be consistent with the Fair Trading Act if they were allowed, and should read PAST USE-BY DATE.
Contact: Sister Palpitatia BD SM
The Corrective Party
(06) 3583609

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