THE NEW WRITE
Official Newsletter of the New Zealand Young Nationals
8th August 2001
"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
-George W Bush
1. BURTON PUTS COMMUNISM AHEAD OF DEMOCRACY
2. HELEN TODAY; DON TOMORROW
3. TEAC REPORT 'WAFFLE'
4. MORE RANKIN CASES?
5. TOP TEN: QUESTIONS NOT ANSWERED BY KNOWLEGE WAVE CONFERENCE
6. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
1. BURTON PUTS COMMUNISM AHEAD OF DEMOCRACY
State Owned Enterprises Minister Mark Burton is under fire for walking out on a select committee hearing, at which he
was facing tough questions, to attend a reception for a General from the People's Liberation Army of China.
"Mr Burton is not fit to be a Minister," said ACT MP Rodney Hide.
"I was disgusted that Mr Burton found my questions regarding the 'People's Bank' so difficult that he had to run out
after three minutes. That's the fourth time Mr Burton has run away from a Select Committee I've been at. The Minister
shows complete contempt for the democratic process and Parliament holding Ministers to account.
"Mr Burton's disgusting excuse for running away was that he had to kow-tow to a Chinese General. Mr Burton may enjoy
'honouring' the butchers of Tienamen Square, but he needs to realise that we live in a democracy in New Zealand, and his
responsibility is to the people that elected him.
MP Peter Dunne says that "Mr Burton's responsibility is to the New Zealand Parliament and its people, not some Chinese
General from one of the most repressive, undemocratic regimes in the world."
"Mr Burton should realise he is primarily responsible to the New Zealand people, not the brass in Beijing, and if he
does not like that, then he should get out."
2. HELEN TODAY, DON TOMORROW
Courtesy of www.thekumara.com
Prime Minister Helen Clark's name will be "Don" Clark by the end of next year, if a group of concerned citizens from Te
Aroha in the Waikato have their way.
Campaigning under the slogan, 'Helen Today, Don Tomorrow', spokesman for the group, Mr Trevor McCormick, explained the
group's reasons for the Citizen's Initiated Referendum. "New Zealand has gone soft, mate. The Prime Minister has too
much focus on artsy nonsense, which detracts from the proper attention due our national game."
"There's only one way that New Zealand is going to reclaim its former glory," continued the Waikato dairy farmer and
avid talkback contributor. "And that's to concentrate on what the country does best: rugby, racing and beer. Renaming
the Prime Minister - with the illustrious name of one of our greatest rugby legends - is a symbolic step in the right
direction, we reckon."
Political commentator Linda Clark noted that there are "startling similarities" between Don Clarke and Helen Clark,
which should help contribute to the success of the referendum.
"Don 'the Boot' Clarke is perhaps most remembered for kicking over 6 penalty goals in the first test against the British
Lions in 1959," recalled Ms (Linda) Clark. "Move forward in time 40 years, and Helen 'the Boot' Clark will most likely
be remembered for kicking out 6 cabinet ministers in her first term of office."
Prime Minister Helen/Don Clark was surprised by the Citizens' Initiated Referendum, but commented that "if the majority
of the New Zealand public feel passionate enough about this issue, and vote for "Don", I would do the honourable thing
and ensure that the requisite legislation is passed through Parliament to give effect to the will of the people."
"Ironically, many of my girlfriends have affectionately called me "Don" in the past," added the Prime Minister.
The on-line referendum, hosted exclusively on theKumara's web-pages, can be found at http://www.thekumara.com/don.html .
3. TEAC REPORT 'WAFFLE'
Something must have happened on the way to the printer. This can't be it, National's Tertiary Education spokesperson
Maurice Williamson said today of the third TEAC report 'Shaping the Strategy'.
"At a time when a very good report has been released by the Royal Commission on Genetic Engineering an appallingly bad
report has been released by the Tertiary Education Advisory Commission on the strategy for our tertiary education
system.
"Steve Maharey must have gutted the report because I find it very hard to believe that any academic would put their name
to it.
"To publish a document that talks of a 'vision for a vision', 'characteristics of the vision for the vision' and of 'a
desirability for a desire' is an insult to any trained academic mind.
"The report for all its pretentiousness, lacks academic rigour. It is an insipid document that will evoke embarrassment
and scorn among New Zealanders.
"When the first TEAC report was released in July last year it was full of platitudes and generalities and most people
had no idea what it meant. We've now got the third report, and its worse!
"At the very time when the Government should be adding some substance to the tertiary sector for the Knowledge Wave
conference, they've released a blueprint to nowhere," Mr Williamson said.
4. IS LABOUR A GOOD EMPLOYER?
Hot on the heels of the Rankin debacle, at least five former Beehive staff are now preparing legal action against their
former Ministerial bosses.
It is understood the Ministers facing legal action include Matt Robson, Dover Samuels and Judith Tizard, who have all
had high-profile spats with their respective press secretaries.
There have been 37 resignations amongst ministerial staff since the last election. Labour and the Alliance have also
hired more staff - an increase from 190 to 233 in total.
The New Write says this is especially hypocritical since pre-election Labour promised to:
„h Reduce the number of ministerial staff
„h Crack down on golden handshakes
„h Crack down on bad employers
„h Encourage "good faith" bargaining under the ECA
„h
Although in Helengrad it¡¦s always been "Do as I say, not as I do..."
5. TOP TEN QUESTIONS NOT ANSWERED BY KNOWLEGE WAVE CONFERENCE
1. Do knowlege waves come under the jurisdiction of the Waitangi Fisheries Commission?
2. Why do MPs have "business cards'?
3. If Jim Anderton is so good at business development, how come he left his supermarket trolley factory for politics?
4. Why is Pinky Agnew famous?
5. How does the nation harness the intellectual dynamo that is David Benson-Pope?
6. Who the 'bomp' in the 'bomp-tiddy-bomp-bomp'?
7. How long will it be before Don Brash is called into have a "little chat" with Michael Wintringham and be offered a
job in Australia?
8. Has MP David Cunliffe's new "Blackadder" haircut started a trend, and would anyone be at all surprised if it didn't?
9. Why bother with a conference when Helen Clark knows everything?
10. Does water ripple when a duck farts? (submitted by Trevor Mallard).
Courtesy of St-Molesworth@yahoo.com and The New Write
6. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
This is National MP Murray McCully's website, and the home of one of the best political newsletters in New Zealand -
yep, nearly as good as the one you're reading right now. mccully.co comes out every Friday and has all kinds of hot
gossip and interesting stories from the world of politics.
The website also features caption contests and the famous 'List' of people who are now officially in Helen Clark's bad
books. It is a big list.
Any views expressed here are not necessarily those of New Zealand Young Nationals, or the New Zealand National Party.
Contributions, feedback and articles welcome. Email phil_rennie@hotmail.com
Subscribe at http://mail.national.org.nz/mailman/listinfo/yn-newwrite or email the editor.
Editor: Phil Rennie