The Second Coming of Jesus Christ and Bird Flu
By Steve McKinley
The great thing about a blog site is that you get to make predictions which if you are correct, give you the ability to
point everyone to the archived blog saying "told you so".
Here's my prediction. The so called bird flu, the chicken disease that has killed a wopping 59 people in the world, the
disease that cannot (and will not) be transmitted from human to human, but is going to sweep the world. The chances of
the bird flu becoming an international pandemic killing seqdrillions of us, crippling world economies, causing the
closure of international borders and generally creating fear, panic and loathing not seen since the last witch was burnt
or since we routinely expelled lepers from our midst, are negligible. This is not to say some variety of "the flu" will
emerge, but this is extremely unlikely to have any of the virulence of the bird flu, I'll explain why in a minute.
Given the mass hysteria over this issue one must reasonably infer that the globalised project of dumbing down society to
the point where it collectively gobbles up any and all shite that the media thrusts down its throat is all but complete.
Makes you wonder if they've put something in the water. We have become as compliant as ewes happily marching off to
braindeath by stupidity to the beat of media and authoritarian hype.
I have previously argued that science, rationality and critical thought seem not merely out of fashion but actively
discouraged by proxy. In an almost Orwellian sense we favour a pernicious, postmodern, democratic approach to normative
bullshit generation, the festering ground is suburbia, the genesis the six o'clock news. Prepare for certain death.
If enough people believe it, or if we read it in the paper it must be true. Never mind the fact that this virus has to
first mutate (um, that means "evolve" folks) into a form that can be passed from person to person. One can't help but
wonder how many individuals enamoured by "Intelligent Design" as an alternative to Evolutionary Theory have their
medicine cupboards chocka with Tamiflu. As if the almighty himself has placed this virus here, just to smote us all
The twisted ethics of response to current mass panic about bird flu is equally dubious. A small company in Wellington is
now selling survival kits for 500 bucks, cashing in on the bovine stupidity of a percentage of the population with IQ's
close to their School Certificate maths marks. How much can a few of cans of baked beans, a box of panadol and some
bottles of water cost. Apparently you can get the deluxe kit, it contains gourmet meals and a bottle of Lindaur Special
Reserve - at least you'll enjoy the end of the world.
You get a sense of dejavue, I've been dreaming of the US suddenly finding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. And I
must admit, I myself profitted somewhat as a result of the Armageddon that was to follow the New Years Eve party of 1999
although I certainly didn't sell overpriced survival kits. I wonder if I'll be around for the second coming of Jesus
Christ, and who I wonder will get the television rights. Flak jackets and fire extinguishers are bound to be hot
commodities given the predicted amount of brimstone and flames.
Of course the whole scenario has replaced Iraq as the topic of choice for front page US newsprint. Interesting given
Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defence was a previous Chairman of Gilead Sciences, company that developed and owns the
rights to Tamiflu, the only supposed "cure" for bird flu. Of course Roche who manufacture and market Tamiflu on behalf
of Gilead can't supply enough to freaked out risk averse westerners around the globe - ripe for the plucking.
Currently the waiting list for the snake oil, (ah-hem Tamiflu) is about 3 months, of course the pandemic could have
already swept through the globe killing trillions by then. If you'd rather be stacking bodies as opposed to being
stacked yourself you could try eBay where Tamiflu is selling for up to NZ$260 a course.
Getting in on the act is the night in shining armour, the Risk Management Society of New Zealand
, seemingly obsessed with Bird Flu busily publishing press releases I suppose they've found their mission, yet they've
never heard of Peak Oil
a real and tangible threat to our society and economy. A bunch of concerned middle class men in suits, accountants,
lawyers and project managers are now telling us how we ought to combat a nonexistent pandemic.
I want to finish with some rational comments on the evolution of Bird Flu. We must keep in mind that currently there is
no (or very little) evidence to suggest that Bird Flu can move between human hosts, furthermore the virulence of the
virus amongst bird (chicken) hosts is extremely high, that is it quickly immobilises (hospitalises) then kills it's
host. The correlation between transmittability and virulence is important. For bird flu to become a pandemic amongst
humans it first must mutate to a form that is easily transmittable, the host needs to remain mobile so the virus can
spread around for a pandemic to emerge. It should be noted that a highly virulent virus (such as the current bird flu
which of course cannot be transmitted between humans) kills it's host faster thereby accelerating it's own demise and
reducing the time available for transmission.
A successful virus is one that is highly infectious but allows it's host to live as long as possible. Viruses that are
highly virulent often quickly burn themselves out when hosts die. Thus less virulent forms of the virus will be selected
for after initial localised outbreaks. My guess is that the correlation between transmissability and virulence will be
negative. That is, the bird flu if ever it mutates into a form that can be transmitted from human to human host and thus
emerges with pandemic characteristics there will be a significant reduction in the virulence of the virus. Very sick
people will become immobilised, hospitalised and isolated. Lesser forms of the virus, which don't immobilise and
hospitalise patients will quickly move through the population, those catching it will survive and develop antibody
There are more important things to worry about than bird flu. Hopefully in a few weeks or months I'll point those that
need pointing, to this archived blog entry and say, told you so.