INDEPENDENT NEWS

Cheney, Libby and Rove in "Legal Jeopardy"

Published: Tue 1 Nov 2005 02:06 PM
Cheney, Libby and Rove in "Legal Jeopardy"
White House officials reach finals of "Jeopardy" spin-off after several rounds of intense questioning
Satire from freepressed.com
Back-stabbing seems to be the prevailing strategy on the new "Legal Jeopardy" game show hosted by Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald.
Showtime -- Finally, the endgame is near. After a grueling two-year elimination process, three senior Bush administration officials have advanced to the "Indictment Round" of Patrick Fitzgerald's wildly popular judicial version of the hit game show "Jeopardy."
Pundits and anonymous White House aides have been speculating for months that Vice President Dick Cheney, his chief of staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, and Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove were in "Legal Jeopardy." The rumors are now reality.
Insiders present at the taping of the show say the competition is fierce, bordering on Machiavellian.
"At one point Libby selected 'Traitors' for $300," explained one anonymous source close to the action. "The answer was, 'The source of the Plame Leak.' Without hesitation he shot back, 'Who is Dick Cheney.' I was like, 'Oh, Scooter, no you di-in't!"
As exciting as the game play promises to be during the finale, qualifying for the show was another story. All three contestants seeminlgy got a pass from the previous host, former Attorney General John Ashcroft. After he recused himself, the trio was forced to step up their game play.
Scooter Libby asked to revise some of his previous answers to the special prosecutor when newly found notes magically appeared, which contradicted his earlier testimony.
Dick Cheney suffered from mild amnesia during the early stages of the game when asked how he discovered the identity of Joe Wilson's wife.
Karl Rove made multiple visits before the Judge, begging forgiveness for attempting to cheat while Ashcroft was moderating the game.
But through it all, Fitzgerald has remained single-minded in purpose, even launching a website for viewers to keep track of the results online at http://www.usdoj.gov/usao/iln/osc/index.html
ENDS

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