INDEPENDENT NEWS

Lyndon Hood: More 'Innovative' Reshuffling

Published: Thu 27 Oct 2005 05:16 PM
Suggestions for More 'Innovative' Reshuffling
Satire by Lyndon Hood


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First, there was the constitutional innovation involved in the formation of the new Government. Now, Don Brash has created a post for Wayne Mapp officially titled "Political Correctness Eradicator".
This throws open a world of possibilities. Scoop has some suggestions for forthcoming re-reshuffles.
Mangrove EradicatorSandra GoudieNational Party Sneering SpokesmanTony RyallShadow Minister for Fronting the Interviews when Someone Else Has Screwed UpGerry BrownleeMinister for Spending the Leaders Fund on What Might Possibly Be Public Information According to the Speaker's Rules but Looks Like Campaign Material to the Electoral OfficerHelen ClarkConvenor of the Ministerial Panel on Sisterhood AffairsHelen ClarkMinister of Smug WitticismsMichael CullenNational Party Liaison with MediaLeaked EmailsEmeritus Minister of Wine and CheeseJonathan HuntMinister for Getting Pacific Islanders into the CountryPhillip FieldMinister (Outside Cabinet) in Charge of Supporting a Government He Doesn’t Actually WantPeter DunneUnited Future Spokesman on Petulant WhiningPeter DunneMinister of Pretending Not to be Part of the GovernmentWinston PetersNZ First Chief Baubles-of OfficerWinston PetersMaori Party Pretending an Alliance with National is Actually a Good Plan SpokeswomanTariana TuriaGreen Party Spokespersibling on Wearing Braces a Lot and Acting All ReasonableRod DonaldGreen Party Channeler of GaiaJeanette FitzsimonsOpposition WebloggerRodney Hide"The White Man"Don BrashShadow Leader of the GovernmentDon BrashLeader of the Shadow GovernmentRoger KerrOpposition Spokesman on LunchtimeDon BrashCaptain NuclearLockwood SmithNational Party Liaison with Asian New ZealandersDon BrashThe Guy who's Job is to Think of Sensible Portfolios for National MPs Spend All That Time OnDon Brash
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