INDEPENDENT NEWS

Freepressed: Democrats Fiddle While GOP Burns

Published: Tue 11 Oct 2005 11:07 AM
Democrats Fiddle While GOP Burns
"Opposition" party leaders unsure whether now is the time to go on the offensive
Satire from freepressed.com
DNC Chairman Howard Dean said strumming the guitar takes his mind off of all the hard work needed for the Democrats to take back power.
DNC Headquarters -- The cluelessness of the Democratic Party has hit a new high in recent weeks as it continues to demonsrate an astonishing inability to capitalize on the implosion of the Republican Party.
Despite multiple scandals, gross incompetence, blatant cronyism, and the simple fact that Republican elected officials are lying bastards, Democrats seem content to sit back and enjoy the show. Howard Dean explained his party's strategy before going into a rousing rendition of the Eagles classic, Peaceful Easy Feeling.
"It's a well known fact that when your enemy is hanging himself, the best thing to do is stay out of the way and make sure he has enough rope. That's more or less our plan."
But experts agree that the Democrats have a troubling history of giving their Republican counterparts so much rope that they are able to put their feet on the ground, walk away from the execution, and then use the rope to tie politically inept Democrats to their horses and drag them through town.
Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) bored an entire convention center in Roanoke, VA. by playing the full-version of Hey Jude.
On Iraq, many Democrats have been hesitant to criticize the President's handling of the war for fear that they will have to offer an exit strategy of their own.
Former presidential candidate John Kerry, hamstrung by his vote for the Iraq resolution, tied himself into knots trying to explain what he would do differently in Iraq.
Kerry says he's getting out of the policy-making business all together so he can devote more time to his music.
"I'm starting a bi-partisan rock & roll band with John McCain called 'the Filibusters.' We're opening for Roger Clinton's band, so we might even get picked up by Hillary's fundraising tour that's set to kick-off sometime in 07'," he boasted. "Rocking across the USA sure beats saving it."
ENDS

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