INDEPENDENT NEWS

Peter Jackson (The Bastard) Sacks His Fan Club

Published: Thu 1 Apr 2004 01:36 PM
"Right now I'm the most famous export since the lamb! They're naming a street after me! I'm the king of the southern hemisphere!! I can't have you lot running around calling me a bastard! That's not just rude! It's downright disrespectful!" - Peter Jackson 31st March 2004
Scoop received news of this odd development in tinseltown via our content partner Theonering.net
The Bastards Have Been Axed
From: http://tbhl.theonering.net/
I'm afraid we've got some really bad news. A while ago we created some really cool tee-shirt designs. We love these designs, and were certain you guys would too, so we printed off 400 copies. Here are the tee-shirts in all their glory:
Front
Back
Anyway it seems PJ wasn't as impressed as we would have hoped. To cut a long story short, we recieved this fax from PJ this morning:
OUR REPLY TO MR.JACKSON:
Dear Mr Jackson, Your Highness, God, or whatever we're meant to call you now
It has pained us all to see how you have changed in recent months, and we wish we could say that your fax came as a surprise. We have done as you said, and TBHL is now just an empty website waiting for the clock to run before we can sell the domain name.
We put our hearts and souls into this site and we did it because we wanted to share with the world the joy we experienced when we viewed your work. We stood by you though most of us thought your move into fantasy films was tantamount to you selling your soul and artistic integrity to Satan. We've delivered news on orcs, hobbits, elves, wizards and other characters that frankly we couldn't give three shits about. We've answered emails from sad, greasy little Tolkienite fanboys wanting to tell you what was wrong with Aragorn's swords, Arwen's jewellery or Gimli's beard. We couldn't care less! We've smiled and nodded and said "ahhh isn't the LOTR trilogy fantastic" when all we wanted was a sequel to Bad Taste!
You've let us down. And with your decision to shut TBHL down, you've broken our hearts and left us in financial ruin. We have a warehouse full of t-shirts that we can't sell, not to mention the mouse mats and boxer shorts. But it's OK, you sit on your millions and millions of dollars (and one pair of shoes), threatening lawyers and being the sell-out Hollywood asshole that everyone said you would never become.
Well, we've done what you asked. I guess that brings everything to an end and there's nothing more to say, you bastard. And that's *swearing*.
Lewis Davies
Pete Gunter
Sam Harris
Hamish Towgood
So I'm afraid it seems that this is goodbye. I don't know what to say really. I'm so incredibly sad that this should happen. We're really going to miss running TBHL, and we hope you've had as much fun reading it as we have maintaining it.
Bye folks, we love you all,
-The TBHL team

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