Top 10 reasons why Helen Clark didn't make it to the Oscars
1. She stayed here to supervise international media coverage of David Benson-Pope's appointment to cabinet.
2. She boycotted the ceremony in protest at Michael Cullen missing out on a nomination for best actor in a comedy role.
3. Too many sycophantic NZ media types were falling for her 'I'm listening' campaign.
4. She found out Ellen DeGeneres wasn't going to be there after all.
5. She's no longer impressed by big Hollywood stars now that she's met Pinky Agnew.
6. If she went to the Embassy Judith Tizard promised her lots of cuddles.
7. She's too busy monitoring developments in Haiti.
8. Mark Prebble warned that she might encounter exposed cleavage.
9. Confirmation of her flight was faxed to her Auckland electorate office.
10. She's still smarting after Dr Peter Davis referred to their Mt Albert home as 'Cold Mountain'.
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