Top 10 gripes of NZ's professional cricket players

Published: Fri 8 Nov 2002 02:53 PM
Top 10 gripes of New Zealand's professional cricket players
By St Molesworth
Top 10 gripes of New Zealand's professional cricket players
1. Over $200,000 saved in hair gel and sunglass subsidy since the departure of Adam Parore has not been distributed to the team.
2. Stephen Fleming only able to work part-time as one of the Wiggles due to cricket commitments.
3. Dan Vettori has told New Zealand Cricket he is happy to play for the "beer and babes".
4. New Zealand Cricket refuses to issue guarantee that Andrew Penn will not be selected again.
5. Richard Hadlee still insists he can "still bowl all of you mugs out for less than 50 runs and keep the prize car all for myself".
6. They hate negotiating with a man who went for over 100 runs in a one-day international against England in 1983.
7. The All Blacks get better looking girlfriends.
8. Fear that the deranged lunatic who held up a "David Cunliffe" sign during the NPC final might come to the cricket as well.
9. Want more time off for "indoor cricket", if you know what I mean.
10.Pad rash.
St Molesworth
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