Scoop Feedback: Who Are The Real Terrorists?

Published: Thu 1 Nov 2001 12:24 AM
In This Edition: Who Are The Real Terrorists? - NZ Call Up - Per Helen
Who Are The Real Terrorists?
Dear ed.
Your correspondent, Mirek Marcanik, shows a strange liking for fascism. Even stranger is that the 'patriotic' measures (Terrorist (Bombing and Finance) Bill) are being forced on us by politicians (NB not 'representatives') who had a direct or indirect role in the following crimes:
- repeated deconstruction of the health system
- selling state busineses to foreign asset-stripping companies, essentially dismantling our production infrastructure
- debt-enslavement of our young with student loans - using privately created credit at 'market' rates
- supply of our special forces for mercenary operations unrelated to NZ's security or defence.
- neutralising NZ's armed forces by the promotion of business methodologies instead of the promotion of intelligent warfare.
- direct support of international terrorists such as the Bushes, Clinton, Sharon, Blair, etc.
- handover of domestic credit and fiscal control to foreign persons
- deliberate ignorance of the people's wishes regarding GE.
- various other forms of economic violence against the people of NZ
It's clear where the real threat to our security originates. Mainly within a 2km radius of Bowen Street.
I was hoping that Helen et al would take a stand after 11 September....that this country would be the lone sane voice against the stupidity of the Federal Govt of the USA. But no. It turns out that we have yet another pack of lumpen political sluts in government.
And While Mr. Marcanik and his ilk shudder in orgastic delight as the ID cards and surveillance systems are rolled out, and as the shadow of freedom is swallowed by the darkness of fascism, we already know who the terrorists are in NZ.
They all have Hon. before their name.
Andrew McLellan
NZ Call Up - Per Helen
Dear Editor,
Recent notification of Conscription received via the web:
Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2001 18:43:16 +1300
Under the Emergency Powers Act (1939) as amended by the Defence Act Of New Zealand (1978), you are hereby notified that you are required to place yourself on standby for possible service in the American Conflict in Afghanistan and other nasty places.
You may shortly be ordered to depart for The Middle East where you will join either the NZ Special And Suicidal group or the 1st Battalion Prisons and Airport Security Regiment.
Due to the recent rundown of the Navy, the Air Force and problems with Air New Zealand it will be necessary for you to make your own way to the combat zone. The NZDF through Atlantic and Pacific have been able to negotiate a 20% discount on one way trips with Freedom Airlines and you are strongly urged to take advantage of this offer.
Because of cutbacks in Government expenditure in recent years it will be necessary for you to provide yourself with the following equipment as soon as possible:
* Combat Jacket
* Trousers (preferably khaki - but please no denim)
* Tin helmet (Your Grandfathers WW2 helmet will suffice)
* Boots (or a pair of sturdy trainers)
* Gas mask
* Map of the combat zone (the 1:2800 Outdoor Leisure Map of Afghanistan will do)
* Rifle (hunting scope optional, no shotguns pse)
* Ammunition (preferably to suit previous item)
* Suntan oil
If you are in a position to afford it, we would like you to also buy a LAV III as delays due to political interference may not see us able to issue you with one before the conflict. By teaming up with 10 of your mates it should make the outlay a little easier on your pocket. We understand that GM Canada are currently offering all NZ servicemen options on the gun turret and a 10% finance deal, but hurry, as offer is only available whilst stocks last.
We would like to reassure you that in the unlikely event of anything going wrong, you will receive a free burial in the graveyard of your choice, and your next of kin will be entitled to the new War Widows pension of $NZ10 per calendar month, index-linked but subject to means testing, and fully repayable should our side eventually lose.
There may be little time for pre deployment training before your departure and so we advise that you hire videos of the following films and try and pick up a few tips as you watch:
* The Guns of Navarone
* Kelly's Heroes
* A Bridge to Far
* The Longest Day
* Apocalypse Now
* The Matrix
* Blazing Saddles
* The Desert Song
* Mary Poppins We do not recommend that you watch Khartoum!
To mentally prepare yourself for your mission try reading the works of Wilfred Owen or Rupert Brookes. This should give you some idea of what may be involved.
In closing I would like to stress that you will be well led, well prepared, funded to our bestest ability and fully supported by the NZ government and the people of our country.
Yours faithfully,
H Clarke
Prime Minister
A New Zealand On Air Production
Sponsored by Minties,
The Official snack of World War III
Mirek Marcanik
Scoop Feedback
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