Approved: hardnews.kiwifruit
Subject: HARD NEWS 23/2/01 - Thus, The Sky Kissed Goodbye
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GOOD DAY MEDIAPHILES ... and so the weekend signed itself off with a mad, outrageous sunset that filled the sky,
flitting from one colour to another, blooming lighter and darker, hanging on like someone who couldn't bear to leave a
good party.
Thus, the sky kissed goodbye to a good weekend. Sure, it misted and drizzled through Saturday, but it lifted right on
time. By 8.30 Ponsonby Road was humming and chattering under the muggy, druggy atmosphere that is Auckland's special
weather for this time of year. Sure, it drives us mad, but not always in a bad way.
Thanks to Parkside Publishing for having me and mine up to their Hero Parade party, which went absolutely off as the
night got deeper. And thanks to the people behind the bFM float. As it rolled past me, with a live band belting out
'Lust for Life' and your favourite radio personalities going amiably mental, I felt pleased and proud. You are all my
special friends. I kiss you.
I'd be interested in TV3's excuse for not showing that bFM float, especially given that bFM is a Hero sponsor and
foundation friend of the events. Surely it wasn't because the float carried a couple of special friends from a competing
channel? If that was the case, get a dog up ya, TV3 - if you can't cover the event properly, let someone else do it.
Anyway, barely did bFM listeners have time to grab lunch on the heels of the Hero party, Bob Sinclair or whatever else
than it was all on again in Albert Park for the excellent Summer Series. Now tell me: do Concord Dawn get a crowd going
or not?
And as we enjoy the afterglow of the parade, let us dwell on the Act Party's contribution to the atmosphere of goodwill
over the Hero Parade. Using taxpayer resources, Act's Deputy Leader Ken Shirley issued a statement last week demanding
the Minister of Police assure him that he would not condone gay police marching in uniform in Saturday night's parade.
This, said Shirley - isn't that a girl's name? - would damage the "integrity and standing of our police force". His
concern, he said, was nothing to do with the "sexual orientation of individual sworn police officers". No. Of course
not.
But ... "a key role for the police is to maintain civil order and uniformed gay police officers marching as an exhibit
in the contentious Hero Parade is unacceptable." "Contentious"? "Exhibit"? Is the Act Party saying there would be an
outbreak of social disorder if the population were to discover that a few policepeople were poofs?
In the end, the gay cops didn't actually march, but, with the authority of the Police Commissioner, rode with their
chums from the fire and ambulance services.
One night 16 years ago in Auckland I stood seething while a couple of cops rounded on a gay friend of mine and
administered what you might call a verbal gay-bashing. It was on Ponsonby Road, actually. If, in 2001, I can stand on
nearly the same spot and see out gay cops roll past, I think that's progress. You'll have to ask Ken Shirley what his
problem is.
Act's stance on social policy retreated still further into the stone age this week, with Stephen Franks issuing a press
release headed 'Act MPs Proud To Support Those Who Cry, 'Enough!'' The occasion, of course, was the nine-month suspended
sentence handed down to Mark Middleton. Franks had earlier issued a statement hailing Middleton as a "hero".
Act no doubt figures the string-'em-up tendency are the kind of flaky, faithless voters it might be able to capture
without actually having to explain the rest of its policies. Some of the Middleton cult members want to stand their own
candidates in the next general election.
But ... how on earth does a man who's been convicted of assault, wilful damage and threatening to kill in the past 24
months get to be a poster boy for law and order? And doesn't the fact that a members of a mob of his supporters in
Wanganui last week beat up someone who had the nerve to disagree with them go way beyond irony?
Middleton's stepdaughter Karla Cardno was raped, tortured and left for dead 12 years ago by a man called Paul Dally.
Two years ago, when Dally was due to come up for the first time before a parole board, Middleton began telling the press
and anyone else who would listen that he would kill Dally.
He made lurid, detailed and frightening threats involving acts like crucifixion. He kept on making them even after the
police pointed out that he was committing a criminal offence and begged him to stop. Eventually, they were obliged to
charge him.
I cannot imagine the impact of losing a loved one to such a vile crime as Dally committed; the nature of the grief it
would generate. But at the same time whenever I see Middleton on TV, I see someone I'd cross the road to avoid. He looks
like a scary little man.
I do not like either the cult of personality he builds around himself. At some point this stopped being about a dead
girl and started being about her stepfather. As Karla's grandmother said at the weekend: "He's not thinking of anything
but himself. He just wants to be in the limelight as much as possible."
Middleton's followers claim nothing has been done in response to the "Norm Withers" question tacked onto the ballot at
the last general election. (a) It has. And (b) That question was a ghastly piece of prose with no clear meaning. It was
so badly written I personally refused to answer it. Unfortunately, that kind of semantic gibberish is a hallmark of the
law-and-order brigade.
Speaking of the law, Richard Prebble is going to court with New Zealand Post, which wants back the leaked copy of its
business plan for the People's Bank - or MyBank, KiwiBank, NewBank or whatever - that he has been doling out on a
drip-feed basis.
It was National leader Jenny Shipley who originally tried to upstage the official approval of the bank proposal by
trumpeting selected bits from the confidential business plan. But, being Jenny Shipley, she fluffed it, first revealing
security information that she oughtn't have, then guiltily shredding the document.
Michael Cullen gleefully informed Parliament on Tuesday that Prebble and Rodney Hide had been overheard on their flight
to Wellington loudly discussing how Shipley had fumbled the leak, with Prebble reckoning he could have done much more
damage.
He soon got the chance. Somehow, he too, got his grubby little hands on a business plan. And unlike Shipley, when he
was asked to return or destroy it, he thumbed his nose.
You have to admire Prebble's sheer confidence in waiving any immunity to which he might be entitled and fighting Post's
bid in court. And as a journalist I don't like to see anyone forced to reveal their source - even though that source, if
they be a Post director or a public servant, is guilty of a disgraceful dereliction of duty. But, my, there are some
ironies here.
Prebble - playing victim, believe it or not - is expressing horror that an SOE should take court action to stop him
drip-feeding details of is business plans, when he is only doing his job in Opposition. Yet he was an enthusiastic
defender of Timberlands' secret and prolonged dirty tricks campaign against Helen Clark both before and after she became
Prime Minister. I'm fairly clear about which one I think is the greater abuse of democracy, and it ain't the Post
Office.
Ditto for Shipley, who this week mocked claims of commercial sensitivity - but, when she was Prime Minister, wasn't shy
about claiming "commercial sensitivity" over information on, for example, the sale of Wellington Airport.
The phrase "the government has no place in banking" has been chanted like a mantra this week. But the government
already has a place in the wide range of commercial activities New Zealand Post pursues.
These include range of delivery services, online and offline billing for third parties, franchising, retail, running
mail systems in seven other countries - and even owning savvy stakes in Web developers and portals. There are some
decent arguments against this venture, but "the government has no place in banking" is not one of them.
Oh, but look at the BNZ, which the government had to bail out twice. Isn't that the killer? Not really. The BNZ got
into trouble not because it was running retail banking services, but because it threw money at a swathe of shonky
businesses that defaulted on their loans. The People's Bank won't do any business banking at all.
But more to the point, can we actually have a political discussion in this country without referring to the late 1980s?
Get over it, you dimwitted baby-boomers! As a ridiculous discussion on - of all places - TAB Sports Café made clear this
week, the level of ignorance about this proposal is very high indeed. Bill Ralston, who allegedly appeared as an expert
commentator, should be ashamed of himself. Stick to the sports, guys.
For what it's worth, I'm not entirely convinced about the idea. I wouldn't have done it myself. Its approval is clearly
a concession to the Alliance, which has been very well behaved in government but needs some points on the board. But I
also have considerable respect for the operational efficiency of New Zealand Post, which has considerably enriched the
taxpayer in the past and appears confident it can continue to do so with this venture.
The bank is being backed with money from the government's capital investment budget, to the tune of $70 million,
with a further $10 million likely to be knocked off this year's Post dividend to the taxpayer.
Flies in the ointment include the fact that the bank may struggle if it gets too many poor people joining up and could
have to hike its lower-than-the-rest fees if it can't get the balance right. The bank's relationship with competing
small institutions is also unclear, and staff security remains a concern.
What won't happen is that you will lose your money if you save with the bank.
I'm worried that we are slipping back into the kind of negative, knee-jerk "debate" that made last year so tedious. I
am prepared to give this thing the benefit of the doubt and I am pleased to see the plan to bring back the old POSB
school savings scheme. I will be opening accounts for both of my children as soon as they're available.
I'll wait and see what's on offer before committing to shifting my own banking business. In particular, I'll look for a
killer conversion product - a kind of 0800-switch-me-over-from-those-bastards-at-Westpac package. We'll see.
And we'll see what happens to Philidda Bunkle and Marion Hobbs, who having been cleared over their living arrangements
by two official enquiries, appear to have been tripped up by a third. A Crown Law opinion sought by the Registrar of
Electors having apparently raised doubt,s both ministers have resigned until such time as they are cleared, assuming
they are.
Recent polls - which have Labour surging to a remarkable 49% support and the Alliance riding as low as 3% - suggest the
Bunkle bungle is causing damage to her party. Losing yet another minister might yet shade Labour's dream run.
But, as the PM's spin doctors were keen to point out this week, and as you've heard from me, the whole thing is a mess.
National's Bill English gets the same out-of-town allowance as the two ministers, on the basis that his "primary
residence" is in the wilds of Southland. Yet not only does he spend most of his time in Wellington, his horde of
children go to school there. How often exactly does the English family actually live in its distant "primary residence"?
Well, that's enough of Wellington. Can I just say I'm glad that the inexorable advance of Westfield on the Auckland
retail scene has been temporarily halted? I hate Westfield - not because they're Australians, or because of their
pave-the-earth philosophy, but because of their logo. That hideous bit of fourth-form calligraphy has become the most
virulent bit of visual pollution in the city. Stop this crime against taste, I beg of you.
And that's quite enough Hard News for anyone. It's party time again, and my Wellington friend Big Al T and I will be
getting aboard the Titanic to bust some maritime moves tonight. After, of course, watching the Blues beat the
Highlanders in the Super 12's opening stanza. Now that's a good night out - G'bye!