INDEPENDENT NEWS

Service From Hell

Published: Fri 8 Apr 2005 08:24 AM
Service From Hell
Over recent weeks we have celebrated a number of milestones including the opening of our 37th Hell Store and achieving annualised sales of NZD30million.
Hell Pizza creates 40,000 pizzas per week and growing.
However we have been having so much fun providing you so many of you with Damn Fine Pizza that we have on occasion let our service slip. Sometimes it’s not our fault (who designed the Auckland roads anyway and why don’t they work when it rains!!) however we want to put things right.
We have listened to your feedback and from tomorrow we are putting the VICE into SERVICE. We are pulling out all stops to get your food delivered within the quoted time.
“We are committed to service and realize that customer is king. In recognition of this, Hell Pizza has introduced the following” says Stuart McMullin, Head Demon.
Hell we are late- If we don’t get it right and your food is 10 minutes late then we will refund your deliver fee.
Hell, this is worse than we thought - If things are hellishly bad and we are more than 15 minutes late then your order becomes half price.
Hell, Hell, Hell, we are really sorry –Even if we didn’t cause the traffic jam, make it rain or design the roads, if your order is more than 30 minutes late then it is on the house. No charge, zippo, nil, nada.
Hell Pizza 666% New Zealand owned, operated started and grafted…
All Hell Breaks Out In Colombo Street
Just when Canterbury thought it was safe, Hell Pizza has announced that its 36h store and first South Island store will open on April 13.
Being a Christchurch man who has spent much of life living in what Cantabrians would indeed call a Hell Hole; Andy Brown has finally left Auckland and is coming back home. However this time he will be bringing a bit of Auckland back with him.
“Located at 303 Colombo Street in Sydenham we are all set to provide damn fine pizza” says local owner Andy Brown.
“I had been looking for sometime for the right opportunity and while eating a pizza and thinking about the possibilities, the answer became obvious. Cantabrians need a pizza that tastes better than the box it comes in and only Hell Pizza met this criteria” says Andy.
“Being an avid fan of Hell Pizza, I met with the guys from Hell and discussed their goals and values. I was very impressed. Never before in business had I met a group of people so passionate and dedicated toward their brand. However the ultimate factor was that the food had to be damn fine” says Andy.
Employing over thirty local staff we look forward to helping you experience Hell and will see you on the 13th….

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